Comments on: Retiring from the trenches

By: CJ Fearnley

CJ Fearnley — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 17:42:58 +0000

I’ve always found this Buckminster Fuller quote inspiring: “You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.” By focusing on building a new “normal” in which women are accepted and encouraged in tech (without the need for an explanation), you will change the world! It is how all deep lasting change is made. Because no matter how eloquent and strong the argument, people are built-in with so much pride, vanity and inventive memory that our proclivity for self-deception will over power any argument. That’s why trying to change people almost never works. Only by seeing a new reality will the weight of the dawning reality become manifest. Congratulations on choosing to focus on what will make the biggest impact. It is probably exactly what is needed to build the new reality.

By: Miriam Ruiz

Miriam Ruiz — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 09:03:20 +0000

I totally understand and share your feelings. I’ve already gone through that, you already know and you were there to support me. Just don’t try to save the world yourself alone, pick your battles, do what you think is fair both for you and for the rest of the people, and try not to burn out. You won’t solve anything by burning yourself out. At some point you will recover your energy, and will also have learnt from past battles and will probably approach this whole problem from a different perspective. You’re great, I know you’ll do it :)

For the moment, try to recover your strength, have fun doing stuff and just don’t waste all your energies in battles. *** hug ***

@Valerie: It’s sad to hear that you’ve also burnt out. You’ve always been a role model and inspiration for me, I already told you in person in Debconf7 in Edinburgh, so I wouldn’t say that you wasted your time. At least in what I’m concerned. It’s nice to hear that you’re happier now, though. I’m glad for that :)

By: Ð Ð°Ð´Ð¸Ð¹

Ð Ð°Ð´Ð¸Ð¹ — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 07:54:43 +0000

By: Adele

Adele — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 01:05:41 +0000

As one burned out IT woman to another, I thank you for all of your efforts.

And I wish you the best of luck on your new adventures… sounds very positive!

(I wandered to this post by way of Kirrily’s twitter, btw.)

By: Valerie Aurora

Valerie Aurora — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 21:45:24 +0000

I totally understand; I withdrew about two years ago, partly from exhaustion and partly because it wasn’t clear to me that I was having any real effect. The problems women face in open source are only the spillover from much wider societal problems which are going unfixed. I felt like I was building sand castles by the edge of the ocean – all my work would get swept away by larger forces. So I decided to invest my time in a way that would definitely not be wasted: by working to be a successful woman who could serve as a role model. I’m far happier now.

By: Kevin McAllister

Kevin McAllister — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 14:21:50 +0000

This is actually something I am somewhat interested in, having two daughters. The cultural influence on people in certain professions or activities. Thanks for pointing me at Kirrily Robert, I read through her post on her keynote and found it interesting.

In the dabbling I’ve done with ideological activism over the past year I can see how it is easy to get frustrated. Because I advocate politically for individual rights as an absolute I have been called simplistic, crazy and a cultist among myriad other things. I’ve found that it’s best to root that type of activity into your overall goals, by asking, “what do I want that requires me to do this? And is this the best way for me to achieve my goals?” And if you find yourself dreading to do those activities but compelled to do it as a “duty” you need to as you have pull back and re-evaluate.

Thanks for your effort in trying to raise the level of rational discourse in open source, and best in finding the role you want in that realm.

By: Amy

Amy — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 12:59:41 +0000

Yeah, I’ve become a burnout case too– I know exactly what you mean. As much as I enjoy the fundamentals of what I do, I think I need to move to a different field.

By: Airin Hazelwood

Airin Hazelwood — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 05:25:25 +0000

Thank you for your courageous words. As a woman who is technology competent and enamored I feel and see the sexism too. Part of it, I believe is that I am in Oregon. Portland is one of the few places here where there are more open minded people and funny enough has more topless clubs than I have seen in one city besides Las Vegas. I hope to find a place for myself in the world of technology and employment some day. Until then, I want you to know I am proud to hear another woman not afraid to speak out. We need more people like you. Thank you.

By: Laraine

Laraine — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 01:31:59 +0000

I’m a 56 year old female with 20+ years in the computer industry, mostly at the larger Silicon Valley companies. I remember being discouraged all the way back to a math teacher in 6th grade. You don’t have to convince me that there is a problem. Sexism and discrimination against women have always been present in the computer industry. Sometimes overt, sometimes covert, always annoying. It ranges from behavioural problems to salary and position.

By: greggles

greggles — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 01:07:12 +0000

I’m really glad to hear that you are retiring only from the trenches. This is an important problem in need of lots of help. Thanks for the work you’ve done and your commitment to keep working on it.