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Well Myk fixed my net connection %) yay! So I can post this thing I wrote this morning:
Hooverphonic – Magenta

My connection is icky %( Stupid Comcast… When you are uploading something it just eats up SO much bandwidth. I was surfing the net at like dial up speeds for a while, but things seem to suck pretty bad noew %) *writes this in vim to copy it to xanga later*

So I have no net atm what is there to do? Write a huge xanga entry! Yesterday I spent doing nothing really… read more of Dune… surprisingly I’m already a little over halfway through it. I should be getting my new books in the mail any day now… Hopefully they will come before I finish Dune… If not there is always finishing rereading Return Of The King. I talk about books in my weblog, how dull. I watched Adult Swim last night too… funny stuff even though I’m not a big fan of The Oblongs, or Mission Hill, or Space Ghost Coast to Coast for that matter… Home Movies, Harvey Birdman, The Brak Show, Sealab 2021, and Aqua Teen Hunger Force are great tho %D I guess I watch all of adult swim only because I was drowsy all day (stupid Benadryl) and I probably would have fallen asleep if I kept reading (Adult Swim is on Cartoon Network at 10 on sunday…).

It’s September 9th. Now I know most of the country is getting all prepared for wednesday, and the whole “One Year Anniversary” of the September 11th Terrorist attacks, and that’s perfectly commendable. I tend to think of this time of year a bit differently. Last year on September 10th (as I am sure most of you know) I broke up with my ex-boyfriend, ending a 2 year emotionally abusive relationship that I *still* have dealing with. This was a huge step for me… I never had too much self-esteem, and when you are in a position such as I was you feel like you deserve the way you are being treated. It took a lot of strength for me to break out of that cycle, and I wasn’t sure I had that strength. I had all sorts of support from friends, and used all of them as a rope to pull me out of that situation. The attacks on the 11th only compounded my regret for pushing these very friends away a year before when my ex “told me to stop chatting on scifi”… I realized through the attacks how I could have lost any of them and never have forgiven myself, and how lucky I was. My family also stepped back into my life, as much as I had ignored them as well, right there waiting to help me out again because, after all, family is family. When I finally was out of the whole situation with my ex I realized I had a whole new respect for family and friends, and for myself… self respect is eternally important, and as I can still see my flaws, and my weaknesses better than anyone, I realize that dispite these things, I still deserve respect and REAL love… afterall no one is perfect.

That’s what this time of year will eternally mean for me I guess… a sort of rebirth of myself. It was at this time I came back to chat with all my old friends, got back into contact with my family, and renewed my love for everything computers. I had a new strength and feeling of self worth, and couldn’t believe that I survived without having it before. After leaving my ex I moved in with my aunt. I was already dating my long-time friend Myk by then, it was a long-distance relationship but I needed some time to resolve my ‘issues’ with my ex, a few months of freedom and continual self-discovery. Of course I wanted to take longer, but November rolled around, and Myk came up to see me and my family (aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents on my mothers side) for Thanksgiving, and everyone loved him, including me. And although I was cautious at first I finally admitted that I needed to be with him. I took a chance and in December last year I moved here to Philly. And of course everyone knows how good that has been going since I hardly shut up about it %P Anyway… yeah, this time of year is profound %)

So it looks like my net connection completely died. Not the net connection exactly, the gateway box still has a few bugs, and all the file upload must have made it get it’s frooze on. So no internet for me today. Gah… I wish I knew more about networking %) I might be able to fix this myself.. but Myk really is the one best suited for this all. The worst part about it really is I don’t have mp3s %( I can live without being online for a day as long as I have my computer, there are lots of things I should be doing to my system that I put off ’cause I’m lazy. Unfortunately for me all the tutorials I have are online so I can’t spend the day catching up on stuff I havent been doing while I spent my time looking for a house. Oh boy I’m rambling.

I guess I’ll start off the morning by writing some long due emails to some friends, I put them off so much that it becomes months between emails and I really shouldn’t let that happen. Laters.

This entry was posted on Monday, September 9th, 2002 at 11:57 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.