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Peter Murphy – Subway Epilogue

I’ve had, I’d say, two legitimate crushes in my entire life. In high school I had a huge crush on a good friend of mine, Brian Crosby… then after graduating I began to have this huuugge crush on Myk, which of course lasted until I started dating him and then ‘crush’ turned into ‘infatuation’ then love. I suppose I’ve had little crushes on people in the past, fleeting things that were never anything, like in the 6th grade when I had a crush on Chris Rovsar (no excuse for this one, I thought he was cute and he’s way smart… I think I heard he even goes to Yale now, heh), then that short thing I had for Seth Dromgoole for a couple weeks in high school (I can’t really explain this one, other than that he was nice to me sometimes, when I hung out with him and his cousin Lisa, despite completely ignoring me in anything else that could be considered a social situation. Um, you know come to think of it, he was Lisa Clark’s cousin.. and Lisa’s cousin is Lynn Perkins, and my mother married into the Perkins family… so I’m actually *related* to Seth now, albeit distantly, yay Maine!). Anyway, the reason for this? Partially to entertain MorganHorse, who I went to high school with, but mostly to say I know exactly what it feels like to have a crush on someone, and be too shy to say anything.

So last night a friend of mine came to me.

(the basic jist of the convo)
friend: you around?
me: yep %)
friend: … i have a confession to make, if I didnt tell you I’d feel like I was lying
me: um, ok, what’s up? %)
friend: I know you are with Myk and all, but I have a crush on you
friend: I dont want it to ruin our friendship
me: i dont want it to either, but I hope you know I’m probably going to be with Myk for the rest of my life

Now this sort of situation has happened to me before, luckily this time this friend was smart enough to see that it was a crush, not that he was “in love” with me like they usually say… so it’s not as troubling. But it’s still always hard when a friend confesses something like this. I can try to just pretend like he didnt say it, and act the same way I always have (which I usually do) but there will always be this nagging feeling, wonder if he still feels that way, and *hoping* that he will get over it quickly. In any event it does change the friendship a little, but I have to say I am glad he was honest with me, I really hope it doesnt damage the friendship though… There have been a few times when it has, and that is terribly disappointing. Hopefully this friend will be strong enough to keep our friendship alive, he’s really cool and I’d hate to lose that.

Now I think I can explain this whole irc crush thing. I don’t think I am particularly special, or great because “all these guys” feel the need to like me, I think it’s all an issue of male:female ratio on IRC. In nearly all (hmm, actually… ALL) the channels I chat in there are significantly more males than females, and so it’s only logical, if I am caring, and thoughtful, and funny, that some guys would feel some sort of attraction, especially knowing that a lot of people on irc (myself included) come there so often because their social life (and usually love life) are a little less than average in activity.

In any event it is kinda flattering I guess, at least I know I am not an old maid yet ;)

Ok, enough of that… s’just something I needed to “talk” about.

Go here it is funny: Jesus.com

We’re going to a LAN party today, yay! I guess we’ll mostly be playing Total Annihilation (which I have never played) and Battlefield 1942.. should be fun.

So I mentioned a couple days ago that I was going grocery shopping on the day before thanksgiving. It turned out to be a very pleasant experience. I went around 4 pm, and sure it was busy, but they were obviously very prepared for the rush so I was able to get out of there faster than normal, it was nice. I hate it when I got there at 10 pm, and all 3 other people in the store all decide to checkout at the same time as me, and they have only one open register…

Myk made me an IRCOP on irc.clockbot.net … the chatserver with 13thHour on it. Apparently he saw that I was an ircop on another server and felt bad that I wasnt one on ours. *shrugs* It’s cool though, there are times that it could be useful %)

I guess I’m gonna go eat some breakfast now *yawns and wanders off*

This entry was posted on Saturday, November 30th, 2002 at 12:24 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

One Comment

  • MorganHorse
    Sunday, Dec 1st, 2002 at 1:09

    That was entertaining…especially the “yay Maine” bit.  Here’s a confession.  I had a crush on Chris Rovzar (or however the hell his last name is spelled) in 7th grade.  It was short-lived and a superficial thing (obviously…I was 12.)  I heard he turned into an asshole after leaving CE. 

    I hate the word “crush.”  Where did that term come from?  It sounds so brutal.