o/` Alanis Morissette – Your Congratulations o/`

Well I finally got around to typing up those book reviews:

Armor, By John Steakley, 426 pages
This science fiction book tells of a man named Felix. Felix is a carefree (as in he is free of cares…) soldier in a galactic fleet and by a cruel twist of fate, he is thrust into inhuman conditions of battle. But Felix is not what he seems. The structure of this book is a bit confusing at first, but by the end, when everything comes together, it’s really amazing. I guess my only problem with this book was that it contained a few lengthy battle-scenes that really don’t interest me. As far as the story goes however, and the way it was written, as a whole, the book was very very good.

Wheel Of Time: Book Eight – The Path Of Daggers, By Robert Jordan, 685 pages
The Wheel Of Time continues to turn in this 8th book in the series. As each book in this series reveals more of the story it becomes more complicated, and this is very clear here. It gets slow in certain parts because of how complicated it is, but Jordan does an excellent job of reminding the reader exactly what is happening without being overly redundant. The fate of Mat is unfortunately barely made reference to, much like book 6’s absence of Perrin. But much is discovered about the Sea Folk’s wishes (and ‘bargains’), and much more is explored (and mode questions raised) about Rand’s sanity. And again we are forced to notice how Rand has changed since leaving the relative safety of Emond’s Field. Also, the paranoia that Rand and a few of the others over Darkfriends and traitors is strengthened through more betrayal, while at the same time the characters must trust a few people, a very delicate balance. This book is a wonderful addition to the series.

Griffin and Sabine, By Nick Bantock, 48 pages
I first discovered this book while taking an Illustration and Design class in high school. It’s a series of post cards and letters between a male artist in England ad the exotic Sabine from a small tropical island, but by the end of the book you are forced to ask yourself if it was all that it seemed. The main draw of this book was not the story, but the format. The letters and postcards are actually “written” and you can take out the letters that are actually folded inside envelops within the pages of the book. As interesting as the correspondence between these two is, it’s really a lot of fun to open the letters and read them. I really love this book, and commend it’s originality.

I had a really weird dream last night… I have been having a lot of weird dreams lately (er, remembering a lot of dreams lately, I probably always have weird dreams). Last night tops it tho. I was at one of those governer election parties… I assume this comes from watching election episode of the West Wing or something… and while I was there I ended up in a back room with my friend Pete from Rochester, NY, and we did some heroine. GAH! I was thinking about Pete yesterday, because I have to email him soon since I havent in a couple months… and he IS the only person I’ve ever done any sort of “illegal substance” with… and I just watched Trainspotting monday night. So I know where all the parts of the dream came from, but it was just weird! I’d never do intense drugs like heroine! And at a winning election party!? Did I mention that Hilary Clinton was there and she was a real bitch? Hehee… Strange strange dreams.

Speaking of dreams, I often remember nightmares more often than dreams, and I discovered a few things that I am VERY afraid of through these dreams. First and foremost, the nightmares that make me wake up crying always have to do with the demise of my youngest sister Annette. For some reason I feel some need to still protect her, I mean we were always very close, at one point she called me “Bethy Mommy” because I was around so much more often than my mother was. Well in all these dreams it’s somehow my fault that she dies, in one I slowed down to talk to a friend while we were riding our bikes and Annette was hit by a car… in another she was kidnapped and later found dead in the woods after I was doing some laundry instead of watching her play outside. I guess these are the sorts of dreams paranoid parents have %) But it’s always Annette, and it always HURTS terribly even after I wake up, and I feel the need to email her or msg her just to see how she is. Another common nightmare is losing Myk, wheter through death, or me doing something wrong and making him leave me, and sometimes even a misunderstanding that makes him leave me… And another common “feature” of some of my nightmares is my ex being a scary dominent figure, like when I was dating him… being helpless again like when we dated, and in these nightmares he is always this super-evil character, much moreso than he was in reality… like I pile all the abuse and put-downs of my life into him and create this terrible monster in my dreams. In the strange random scary dreams there are other things too, like birds, I have a phobia of birds that has only gotten worse as I’ve grown older, to the point of actually jumping when I hear wings flapping in a tree nearby… cringing when geese fly close over head… and many of my nightmares have an Aphex Twin soundtrack %) The Girl-Boy Song by Aphex Twin is a wonderful example of the type of the type of music in my nightmares, and I can’t even listen to that song anymore ’cause it *scares* me.

Next! So I’ve been exposed to a great deal of ‘abnormal’ sexuality lately. Not my own or Myk’s! But friends… and although I still love and accept these people, I can’t help but wonder what is causing all this diverse sexuality… maybe it’s always been around and it just wasn’t brought to my attention until recently? This one sorta new friend of mine just recently decided that he wants to be a woman, or at least “see how it feels” … I’ve been talking to him about it, trying to offer advice where I can (unfortunately, my lack of ‘girlyness’ is brought into the forefront in situations like this). Anyway, I’m completely supportive and I understand than when you are younger you want to experiment, as strange as what you want to do is to some people. All I care about is him being happy… but even he has questioned WHY he feels this way… Then there is “polyamory” … basically ‘poly’ is where you “love more than one” .. emotionally, spiritually, and physically. What does this mean? You can have multiple boyfriends/girlfriends, and, well, use your imagination %) or go to polyamory.org and read the FAQs. Now I have heard about this before, but we actually have a few friends who are into this “lifestyle” … I guess I can’t understand such a living because I am VERY jealous at times, an could NEVER be involved with someone when I knew I was not their “only one” … So why all this abnormal sexuality? I assume people have always felt these sorts of things but it’s never been as ‘socially acceptable’ as it is now, I mean people arent as afraid to be open about these things as they would have 40, 20, even 10 years ago… And as much as I am a net freak, I really think that was a big part of this openness. Anyway, just for the record I AM NORMAL … one guy + one girl + no kink = i’m happy … then again with all this freedom maybe that makes me the abnormal one?

Moving on… I went out and did some grocery shopping last night, fun! Gah, I hate grocery shopping. But I was able to pick up some christmas cards since I have been lazy and havent done that yet. After shopping I came home and told Myk that we were gonna send out Christmas cards ane he laughed. I guess in his entire life he has never really cared enough to do something like send Christmas cards to anyone, so this was a whole new thing for him, which is actually kinda funny… but he IS a guy ;) Anyway, he said his parents are going to think he’s on drugs again ’cause this is so out of character for him.. he’s like “they’ll see the card, think I’m on drugs, then see that you signed it too and say ‘ah, lyz'” … It’s sorta funny, he told me that I am the most “stable” woman he’s ever lived with… That made me feel good %) So I got him to sign all the cards to my family n stuff, I made a couple up to send to friends, and bugged him until he finally wrote some to his parents and grandmother, hehee.

Oh and just for the record, I never did do anything after posting yesterday, besides grocery shopping, the day was a waste yay! We did get the database fixed tho, so my guestbook is back up yay. Anyway, today I am actually going to get my PA License! After all this time of having a Maine license, and it’s been almost 3 years since I lived in Maine “oops” Wow, I’ve had my license for almost 3 years. Well now that I seem somewhat settled *knocks on wood* it’s a good time to finally change my license. The same friend I went out with last week to the mall is going to come by around 1 to pick me up so we can go to the DMV (so Myk doesnt have to take off work to take me)… I guess we’re going to try to head up to a few stores too and get some christmas shopping done, I still need to get the giftcards for my sisters, and I’ll try to send them out with the cards tomorrow. So it should be a nice day %)

Unfortunately I am in a very pessimistic mood. I just finished a conversation with this stupid 19 year old kid who thinks he’s an outcast. He has a girlfriend, he has a job, he’s in college, and yet, “no one understands him” … Now i think the problem with people like him, and ALL teenagers really, is they grow up *convinced* they are special and unique, and so they FEEL like their feelings are different than everyone else’s. So when they hear that Korn song on the radio (oh, is my music reference dated?), they feel like it’s speaking to them.. without considering the number of people who think that song was “written just for them” … I realize I have addressed this subject before, but this kid was just SO SURE that ‘preps’ are soulless assholes, it was pointless trying to explain to him that they are human too and despite what he THINKS about them. Oh well, hopefully he will eventually grow up and realize he is not a special and unique snowflake, he’s just like everyone else, and you need to just move on. YAY PESSIMISM! I will die young.

Anyway, enough of this *wanders off*