o/` Moby – Porcelain o/`
I spoke with my father last night. This long complaint about the conversation that I’m about to write is not because I’m looking for advice or anything, I just need to get this off my chest. Conversations with my father always drive me nuts.
He called at about 6:30, we had just finished dinner. He began to tell me all about his life these past few months. One day he was out with my sister (Heather, 20, goes to school and works to support herself, she also is the “wheels” for my father since he doesnt have a car) all day running errands, and when he got back to the home he was staying at they asked him to take a breathalyzer test (apparently this is common after the residents are out for an entire day, one of the conditions of this living place was staying sober). He failed the breathalyzer. He said that he didn’t have a chance all day to drink because Heather was with him. He was kicked out of the house and sent to a homeless shelter in Portland. He called Heather and she came to pick him up at the shelter. That weekend he decided to move into a sort of motel room that rents places out by the week, he can afford it for now on his social security disability checks.
A couple weeks ago he had to go into the hospital for about a week. His liver problems are getting very bad, so he was unstable for a couple days and they put him in the ICU for part of the time (his condition was bad AND they were running out beds in the hosipital..). While in the hospital he spoke with a priest (Mercy Hospital) about his situation. My father claimed that he hadn’t been drinking, and was wrongfully thrown out, the priest said he’d stay in touch and try to help him out if he could. He claims that a doctor he spoke with said that one of his medications that caused the faulty breathalyzer results.
I honestly don’t know what to believe, I really want to believe him, but he’s lied to me for *years* about his drinking. Maybe he was drinking and my sister didn’t notice, or didnt want to admit to my father that she did? It wouldn’t be all that strange, since he always hid it from us and Heather has been really blind (or at least acts that way) to my father’s problems. But maybe it was really the medication that gave a false positive… but since it was medication for the liver wouldn’t it make sense for the home to know about this when giving the breathalyzer test? I feel like a bad person because I’m reluctant to believe him, and a complete dope for wanting to believe him. Ugh. Maybe if he hadn’t lied so much in the past I’d believe him!
I wish we could just communicate honestly and directly in my family. I am tired of expending the effort to read between the lines and get all sides of each story.
My father isn’t doing well. This recent hospital visit was an clear indicator of that to me. He wants me to coem visit again soon, but it’s so difficult to get there often.
On a better note, my father heard about the visits that I had with my cousins recently and I guess my cousins really liked Myk. Yay! Everyone in my family is very happy for me, and they all know that Myk’s a great guy. Not that I needed their approval, but it certainly does make me happy that I have it (for once in my life). Of course with this approval comes my father’s question “So when are you getting married?” Ugh.
Ok, I’m done complaining, I feel much better %) Getting back to working on things now. *wanders off*