Back in December I wasn’t home in San Francisco very much. Most of my month was spent back east at our townhouse in Philadelphia and I spent a few days in Salt Lake City for a conference, but the one week I was in town was the week that Rogue One: A Star Wars Story came out! I was traveling to Europe when tickets went on sale, but fortunately for me our local theater transformed to swap most of it’s screens over to show the film opening night. I was able to snag tickets once I realized they were on sale.
And that’s how I continued my tradition of seeing all the new films (1-3, 7) opening night! MJ and I popped over to the Metreon, just a short walk from home, to see it. For this showing I didn’t do IMAX or 3D or anything fancy, just a modern AMC theater and a late night showing.
The movie was great. They did a really nice job of looping the story in with the past films and preserving the feel of Star Wars for me, which was absent in the prequels that George Lucas made. Clunky technology, the good guys achieving victories in the face of incredible odds and yet, quite a bit of heartbreak. Naturally, I saw it a second time later in the month while staying in Philadelphia for the holidays. It was great the second time too!
My hope is that the quality of the films will remain high while in the hands of Disney, and I’m really looking forward to The Last Jedi coming out at the end of this year.
Alas, the year wasn’t all good for a Star Wars fan like me. Back in August we lost Kenny Baker, the man behind my beloved R2-D2. Then on December 23rd we learned that Carrie Fisher had a heart attack on a flight from London. On December 27th she passed away.
Now, I am typically not one to write about the death of a celebrity in her blog. It’s pretty rare that I’m upset about the death of a celebrity at all. But this was Carrie Fisher. She was not on my radar for passing (only 60!) and she is the actress who played one of my all-time favorite characters, in case it wasn’t obvious from the domain name this blog is on.
The character of Princess Leia impacted my life in many ways, and at age 17 caused me to choose PrincessLeia2 (PrincessLeia was taken), and later pleia2, as my online handle. She was a princess of a mysterious world that was destroyed. She was a strong character who didn’t let people get in her way as she covertly assisted, then openly joined the rebel alliance because of what she believed in. She was also a character who also showed considerable kindness and compassion. In the Star Wars universe, and in the 1980s when I was a kid, she was often a shining beacon of what I aspired to. Her reprise of the character, returning as General Leia Organa, in Episode VII brought me to tears. I have a figure of her on my desk.
Halloween 2005, Leia costume!
A character she played aside, she also was a champion of de-stigmatizing mental illness. I have suffered from depression for over 20 years and have worked to treat my condition with over a dozen doctors, from primary care to neurologists and psychiatrists. Still, I haven’t found an effective medication-driven treatment that won’t conflict with my other neurological atypical conditions (migraines and seizures). Her outspokenness on the topic of both mental illness and the difficulty in treating it even when you have access to resources was transformational for me. I had a guilt lifted from me about not being “better” in spite of my access to treatment, and was generally more inclined to tackle the topic of mental illness in public.
![By Riccardo Ghilardi photographer (Own work) [CC BY-SA 3.0 or GFDL], via Wikimedia Commons](https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Actress_Carrie_Fisher_%C2%A9_Riccardo_Ghilardi_photographer.jpg){kind=link}
Her passing was hard for me.
I was contacted by BBC Radio 5 Live on the day she passed away and interviewed by Chris Warburton for their show that would air the following morning. They reached out to me as a known fan, asking me about what her role as Leia Organa meant to me growing up, her critical view of the celebrity world and then on to her work in the space of mental illness. It meant a lot that they reached out to me, but I was also pained by what it brought up, it turns out that the day of her passing was the one day in my life I didn’t feeling like talking about her work and legacy.
It’s easier today as I reflect upon her impact. I’m appreciative of the character she brought to life for me. Appreciative of the woman she became and shared in so many memorable, funny and self-deprecating books, which line my shelves. Thank you, Carrie Fisher, for being such an inspiration and an advocate.
Monday, Feb 6th, 2017 at 5:43
Thanks for sharing this public yet very personal story.
Monday, Feb 6th, 2017 at 12:03
This was a beautifully thoughtful piece, thanks for sharing it.
I remember the year before last when Practchett died. It wasn’t sudden, but the grief I felt was like losing a mentor and an angry old man that always seemed to have the insights I needed.
It was actually hard to communicate why since most people didn’t feel the same way. But some people who we may never meet have such a large impact on us that we can’t help but take it personally when they pass.