Depression is something I feel like that even I fail to fully understand until I’m in the depths of it. I have to very carefully manage my priorities, because some days I just hit a wall and I need to make sure I get to work and that life-sustaining basics are done for myself and our family. There are things that help, like exposure to sunlight, going out, and staying hydrated, but they only recharge my battery a couple percent and then I’m down again. I don’t want to feel this way, I want to be happy and present and engaged. But I can’t just snap out of it. I just need to do my best every day, and ride it out.

Fortunately, I have a great life, so personal hardship doesn’t make it worse. I also don’t have depression that’s debilitating enough to keep me from work and from the care of myself or loved ones. I am grateful for this, I know how lucky I am. It’s very hard some days, but it’s still possible to cope, even if I’m not feeling like my best self. And keeping our lives activity-filled on weekends does help keep my mind off how I’m feeling.

Retail therapy and seeing something to completion also help a little, perhaps unfortunately, but it did mean that finally getting a couch ordered and delivered for my office was a high point. We’ve actually done this before, but the couch was moved into the family room and we really like having it there, so we ordered an identical one to replace the one in my office. It’s actually a sofa bed, but it’s not a traditional one with a thin mattress, it’s the Serta Ainsley (Monroe on Wayfair) and it’s quite comfortable both as a couch and a bed. Since my home office doubles as a guest room, it’s nice to finally have it back, plus it’s a comfy spot to work from when the mood strikes.

We’ve been getting out around town lately, and the end of August brought one of our favorite events, Castro Valley Cruise Night! People bring their antique, vintage, and tricked out cars from all around the area to simply cruise down the boulevard. It’s just a couple blocks from home, so it makes for a very easy event for us to attend. A few booths from local law enforcement and emergency services are set up to meet the community, big speakers for music are set up midtown, and the community really shows up with folding chairs and snacks to hang out and enjoy the cars. It’s one of those events where we really feel community, and it’s energizing and makes me proud of our diverse little town. After doing some walking, we ended up at our favorite sushi place for dinner, and then got to enjoy the rest of the sunset and walk home and keep the boys out too late, oops. But we all had fun.

Last weekend we made it back over to the Chabot Space & Science Center for their first Friday event, and this month it was Science Fiction themed! We’re members, so it was a free event for us, but it would have been worth the price of admission. We were delighted to discover that the Sacramento Astromech Builders brought a couple droids that responded to activity, so the boys and I had a great time engaging with them. They also had face and arm painting of space designs, which Aaron was eager to get, and then Adam was too once he saw how great Aaron’s turned out. Since the event ran from 6-10PM we got to peek into the telescopes before and after sunset. Before sunset we went to their two smaller, older telescopes to see a couple stars, which were just pinpoints of light. After sunset we went over to their biggest telescope and saw the Ring Nebula! Aaron especially really seemed to enjoy that it looks a bit like a doughnut.

I didn’t realize until I got home that I was also wearing R2-D2 socks!

Aaron sits for some arm art

That Saturday marked the Castro Valley Fall Festival, which, yes, is held at the end of summer. It was warm out, but thankfully not overwhelmingly so, and we were able to enjoy a couple of hours there. I bought a couple local themed t-shirts from an artist there and we had some good food truck snacks. One booth had watercolor paining that the boys enjoyed, and there was a petting zoo! Aaron got a pony ride while Adam spent some time with older kids on a climbing structure.

Every Sunday morning the day has begun with the boys in swim classes. We actually started when we were in Philadelphia back in June and did them through July, then took a break in August as we settled back into school routines here in California. They’re held at a gym that’s about a 10 minute drive or 20 minute walk and single stop BART train ride. So far we’ve done both, and the boys definitely prefer the BART ride when it’s warm enough to take a stroll through parking lots and down sidewalks in their bathing suits and towels.

I’m happy to say that as of yesterday, they both graduated the first level of swim survival classes! Next Sunday they’ll have their first “Minnow” lessons, having completed the “Starfish” level. Luckily for us, they had openings in the same time slot, so it won’t be a big change for any of us.

We’ve also been putting some thought into what other activities to sign them up for. I feel like this is one of those things that really blind-sided me as a parent. I vaguely of knew about extracurricular activities, but it takes a lot of work on the part of the parents, and there’s a lot of pressure to sign your kid up for the “right” one. I’ve watched with a bit of shock how hard it is to get into some activities and the lengths people go to in order to get on the right lists and programs. Then I discovered that ones that are almost as good seem to have open availability. I obviously want our kids to be served well by the programs they’re in, but if there’s one thing I’ve learned about parenthood it’s that the needs and values of the whole family need to always be factored in when making decisions about what we commit to. We’ll see what fits the criteria for us in the coming months.