I went to my first sweat lodge last night. Michael picked me up from work and we drove down to Malvern to get there a little before 7.
As a whole it went well, I was being my usual “anxious and not talking” thing that I do whenever I am around a lot of people I don\u2019t know, but everyone seemed nice, and I was OK. I think the final number of people in the lodge was 24, which made us a bit squished, but apparently the more people in the lodge, the less you feel the heat, and their record was 27.
After 3 rounds we all left the lodge to lie down on the grass for a bit, and I decided not to go back in for the final round, it was getting a bit hard for me to breathe in there and my body said “enough!” Surprisingly it wasn\u2019t as exhausting and dehydrating as I expected, it was actually quite refreshing. Hopefully I\u2019ll be able to make it through the entire time next time we go.
When everyone was out of the lodge we got to swim in their big pool. That was nice, I love pools and it felt so good. We all then got changed out of our lodge clothes and ate food that everyone brought. A numerologist was there, and offered to give Michael a free reading because it was his birthday, which was fun (even if it was mostly inaccurate).
Toward the end of the evening Michael asked if I wanted to speak with the lodge owner about his upcoming shaman course. Michael is taking the course and when he expressed my interest to the owner the owner said he\u2019d like to meet me. Now of course I\u2019m mad shy, and walking up to someone I don\u2019t know to talk to them is not the sort of thing I\u2019m comfortable with doing. But I calmed myself down and was able to go inside with Michael and have a conversation with him while Michael went off to help with dishes. Turns out, this guy is really nice and friendly, very welcoming, calm and peaceful. I pretty much asked for an overview of the basic beliefs that he held and would be teaching in the course and explained in short where I was coming from spiritually.
So will I take this course? I had a lot to think about on the ride home last night. I am not sure I agree with the “everything is alive” Native American view that seems to be held with this course, but I\u2019m not sure. We are all “made of stars” who can say what a soul is exactly?
I finally decided that I do want to take it.
Over these past few years I\u2019ve read plenty of books and articles about religion and spirituality, done meditation, worked with rune stones, but it\u2019s all been a solitary journey. I\u2019ve become overly analytical when it comes to religion/spirituality, and I have a difficult time getting excited about it because I have so much fear of my emotions getting the better of me and clouding my judgement. Unfortunately I believe this has become a problem, I have reached a barrier spiritually because of my inability to budge from my analytical approach.
I think getting involved with a group will be an important step in my spiritual growth. This group is one I believe I can get involved with, there aren\u2019t any fundamental basics that I disagree with, and there is something about this path that has really sparked my interest. Going to sweat lodges, drumming sessions, crystal bowl healing, exploring the inner consciousness through meditation, and learning methods of self-improvement.
No Almighty God, no politics, just working to become a better person and properly react to the world around me. Yes, that\u2019s what I want.