Under the circumstances it was a good trip up to New England.

While on the trip, the subject of this blog came up a few times. How several family members read it and talk about it when they get together. Before we left, someone said “I can’t wait to read what she writes about this trip!” Gosh, that’s a lot of pressure.

So I thought about what I’d write, thinking nothing would give it justice. Surely I would disappoint. I sat quietly for a bit and realized that I just have to do what I always do, write for myself. Don’t try to impress, just be natural. Here goes.

The drive up was nice. It drizzled a lot, but we didn’t encounter any of the killer New England flooding that the news people have been on about. We took the long way up, through PA and NY, avoiding all of New Jersey and NYC. We arrived in Salem, Mass, where my cousins Melissa and Corrine live in an apartment complex around 9pm. We spent the evening talking to Melissa. It is great that she keeps such close touch with my sisters, so we were able to catch up on what they were doing and our thoughts about them. And Melissa is just a cool person all-around, so she’s fun to talk to.

Thursday morning Heather and Annette drove down from Maine and met us at the apartment in Salem, and we drove up to Nashua, NH to meet up with the rest of the family for my grandfather’s memorial service. We met at my Aunt Meg’s condo, she had just been released from the hospital following some major emergency surgery, and I was surprised (and pleased!) to see her up and around. We arrived at the funeral home just before the service started at noon.

The service was small, just close family. It was presided over by the Lutheran family pastor and my Aunt Katy (), who is a Methodist minister. My grandfather was not a practicing Christian, in fact, his more earth-based beliefs and pagan/folk studies were a big part of my relationship with him since my father died last year. But the service was nice, touching upon universal truths that Christianity preaches. A few grandchildren spoke, all of whom had good things to say. It was all very emotional. I cried, and cried again when I walked up and saw the pictures of my grandfather that were arranged at the front of the room. My cousin Barbara () wrote an entry with more details of the service, you can see it here.

Leaving the service I had a lot to think about. No doubt there will be good entries in the near future dealing with my feelings about him and my father after seeing and learning what I did during this visit.

After the service we met up at the retirement community where my grandparents lived, and my grandmother still lives. They had a nice lunch buffet set up for the family, and we all split up and sat at the tables arranged for us to eat. It was great getting to talk to everyone. After eating some people left, most of us went back to my grandmother’s apartment. We were able to just sit around and talk. It was wonderful, I got to spend some time talking to my cousin Audrey () and we had a great conversation about spiritality and relgion. She’s so smart, precisely the kind of Christian I love to talk to, open-minded and asking all the tough questions. I got to spend a little time talking to my grandmother, that was nice, she’s such a wonderful woman. I also got to talk to my cousin Barbara at dinner, which was cool, I don’t know her very well besides what I read in her journal, and it’s nice to physically connect with people.

Dinner was attended by about a dozen of us, it was nice, further connecting with cousins, we were even more mixed up between tables than we were at lunch. It just happened that way. After dinner we went back to my grandmother’s apartment again to talk more. There was a lot of laughing, no tears. Stories of Granddad, we got to see the wedding pictures of him and my grandmother 58 years ago, they were absolutely beautiful. We also got to share stories about our own lives, jo
ked around a lot and in general had a wonderful time together.

When we finally managed to leave around 9pm I couldn’t help feeling that this is precisely what granddad would have wanted. We’re a family of very intelligent, successful people (not to mention good-looking!). He had a great influence on all of us, and we got together and had a fantastic time in remembrance of him. All but one of the grandchildren attended the service, a great feat for any family when plans are pulled together so quickly and considering all the important obligations we have.

My Aunt Katy took pictures, which I’m sure I’ll get eventually. My cousin Melissa took a few between lunch and dinner when just a few of us stayed with my grandmother at her place for a bit.

Annette, me, Grandmother, Heather

Heather, me, Michael, Annette

We drove back to Salem and arrived there a little after 10. The plan had been to walk around historic Salem for a bit to see all the people dressed up, but my feet were killing me from the dress shoes I’d worn all day, and the very emotional day in general left me tired. Heather, Annette, Michael, Melissa and I spent the evening talking, watched some TV and went to bed around midnight.

Friday morning I got up a little after 7, showered and dressed before anyone else was out of bed. I took the opportunity to leave the room where Michael and I were staying and wake up Annette to talk. Just talk. We don’t see each other often, and over the phone just isn’t the same. We had a nice talk about life, soon Heather woke up too and all three of us got to talk. Talking with sisters is good. I left the conversation feeling much better about Annette, she’s an intelligent person, even if she keeps getting into trouble and is doing poorly in school. During part of the conversation she successfully analyzed the relationships where she lives, and explained what was wrong and what she needed, I was impressed, she could have quite a future in some sociological field if she’s that good now. She just needs someone to encourage her and help her realize and nurture her talents.

A little before 9 my cousin Corinne came by, and we were all running around getting ready to leave. I got to talk to her for a bit, and after proclaiming that I was going to steal all her books (she’s got lots of great ones) she mentioned that she was moving away and trying to get rid of most of them so I could take some if I wanted. We sat in her room while I picked out a few, it was great, I hadn’t had much time to talk to Corinne during the visit.

We didn’t manage to leave until after 9. Stopped at Dunkin Donuts and then were on our way home. We further extended our long trip home by taking route 2 through northern Mass rather than the turnpike. It was a beautiful drive, the trees were all changing, and there is nothing like seeing the clouds hang around small mountain tops and down in the valleys while driving through them.

Around 4 we stopped at The Farmhouse Restaurant in Oneonta, New York for dinner. It was good, they had a salad bar with seafood! Yum! And by 8pm we were home with Caligula, who wouldn’t let us out of his sight all evening.