o/` George Winston – Cast Your Fate To The Wind o/`

The merger with the xelium servers is seeming to be a success. Some friends who left clockbot because of how “dead” the server was are coming back, impressed with all the new people that xelium brought, and the stability of the new services. I dunno about the new opers yet really, there are two of them, and I have only seen one of them talk, and it was a… less than flattering statement on his part *shrugs* still, if they have a thriving network they must be doing something right %D I haven’t ventured into any other rooms yet. I don’t know… it’s really a gaming network and I don’t game much anymore *shrugs* I can probably wander into some rooms and find a comfortable place… but then I think “wait, I don’t have time for more chat rooms! I think I’ll just hang out in my rooms and if new people wander in, cool… if not.. that’s ok too. Of course i have little hope that #linux will be very successful on a gaming net ;) (I think I mentioned that tho…).

So I was fairly brief yesterday when talking about the lan party, I was tired, ended up going back to bed after I posted that, hehe. Anyway, the party started off slow, this one guy was having the worst time connecting to the LAN, people were messing around with his computer for a couple hours before they finally realized that he had some sort of software firewall installed. It was frustrating because Myk went over to see if he could figure out the problem and was like “what is all this crap you have running?” … he never did give a straight answer, and Myk gave up (frustration with Windows comes quickly). Yeah… and this guy hardly even knew what the firewall was, said he got nimda once and so someone told him to install that… something about how he didnt like/trust anti-virus software. Erm… He’s one of those people who knows virtually nothing about computers, but can somehow afford to spend money on them all the time, he talks… oh he talks, but he never knows what he is talking about. He’s the one who bothered us at a weird lan party last year in a creepy part of town… when we got club sandwiches from a local sub shop he said “wow, these are worth the $5 you pay for them, it’s real turkey, they cook it right at the place” … we still make jokes about “Real Turkey” .. and tend to call him “real turkey” when referring to him. When we first met him he put his hand on my shoulder and looked at Myk and said “wow man, you are so lucky to have a girl that games, my wife left me because i spent too much time on the computer *blah blah*”… DONT TOUCH ME. Ugh, he’s creepy… not the kind of person I’d like to be in a room alone with, and luckily the situation never arose. There are a bunch of cool people that were there though, Mike was really cool, and Ed was nice… and I already knew Brent of course. And it was funny to see everyone pick on me because I was doing so well in ut2k3… I wasn’t shy either, which is something I should explore…. I guess it was one of those situations where I didn’t feel I needed to impress anyone.

Yeah, I love lan parties. We are going forward with our plans to have one memorial day weekend, on the Sunday. Anyone in the area is invited %) I guess it wont totally be a lan party… pretty much LAN + drinking + BBQ + drinking + talking + drinking… well you get the idea, last year we had one, and it was a blast, one of the best parties i’ve ever been part of %) So of course we have to repeat it, and we’re having it on sunday because we expect most everyone to be off on monday (it being memorial day and all), and we expect it to be an all night thing… as I said, there will be drinking, and we don’t want to let anyone go home right after having a few drinks %)

*looks at the time* ugh… I dunno what I’ll do today, I think I had plans on things to do but I’ve forgotton them all, hee… I mentioned something to the other xelium opers about putting together a little site for the network, I think I’ll just put together a template that other people can add to if th
ey want to, since I have no idea what sort of content they’d want. Just *something* to go up in place of the nothingness they have now %)

Tonight we’re going over to Myk’s ma’s for dinner, woohoo! She always makes really yummie food %)

But right now I am going to go try to get some work done ;) *wanders off*

Lan Party Pictures

The lan party yesterday was a lot of fun %) Played mostly ut2003… which was cool, I did good… beat 7 guys 3 times in a row (I was the only girl there… *sigh*). They were beat by a girl, hahahaa! We tried to play Age Of Empires 2… had it installed and everything, but their cracks didnt work and they didnt have enough cds to share. S’ok, you have to kill sheep for food in that game! AH! Speaking of animals people eat… I saw the cutest thing yesterday. We were driving to the lan party and drove through a farmish area… and we saw two baby cows running across a field, awwwww. Made me very glad we brought boca burgers %) I can’t eat beef anyway… (makes me get upset stomach).

The guy having the lan party had dogs too… we took pictures, but I booted into windows and the camera is acting funny, it’s saying there are no pics on the camera, grr %( … maybe it’s the batteries, brand new batteries yesterday and I have a feeling they are dying already, ugh. I just don’t feel like dealing with windows and that crappy camera right now, hopefully it didn’t do something evil like actually delete all the pictures on it or something %) Anyway, the dogs were so cool, medium sized, really sweet… and very very well trained. I played with them a lot %) Anyway, we got there around noon and left around 10:30… we were both tired, and they wanted to play Metal of Honor, which we dont have, and I didn’t really feel like installing it just to shoot myself in the foot (because i had never played it and I was so tired).

I did however learn that visine eye drops are awsome. I always get itchy allergy eyes, and usually I just suffer with gooey fuzzy eyes. Yesterday we got some visine, and wow, what a difference!

Today we arent doing anything really… I actually think I want to go back to bed, hehe. *wanders off*

The problem with being any sort of administrator in a friendly community, is sometimes you have to put on the admin hat when someone gets out of line. It’s especially frustrating because more often then not, the person who has created the offense takes it personally. To create a comfortable environment for everyone you must set up some rules of conduct, and sometimes those arent things you can write down in the rules. Do I want to make a rule in #13thHour that you can never mention sex? No, because then people will be paranoid about joking around, or having something being taken the wrong way. Is there a line that people should learn not to cross when touching this subject? Yes. At the end of the day I want everyone who comes in there to feel comfortable… not to be afraid to speak their mind, but contributing funny, kind, intelligent conversation.

This is just an example (and what prompted me to make this little rant). I have encountered many situations before, and I hate dealing with them because people tend to just leave when they feel they have offended. Do I want them to? Of course not, but it’s my responsibility to deal with problems. I try to be as nice as possible, but it almost always is taken the wrong way. What DO I expect when I express concern over behavior? Just stop it. Once I asked a girl in the room to turn off her mp3 script because the colors were obnoxiously annoying, she left for weeks because she was so upset. Why was she so upset? It was a script, it annoyed people, I asked her to turn it off… She ended up crying and thinking I hated her… that *I* HATED HER! Because I asked her to turn off her mp3 script… another example? A chatter was continually using foul language. Now do I want to make a rule that you can’t swear? Absolutely not, I swear from time to time, I dont want people to lack freedom… But using offensive language so often, for no reason, is unacceptable.

*sigh*

There is a fine line between being a good admin and becoming an over-aggressive one. *wanders off*

o/` Enigma – Gravity of Love o/`

I spent most of the day cleaning the apartment and making cookies.. yay for fridays. I did lots of extra cleaning, that’s why it took so long %) And I made the cookies for the lan party tomorrow, yay! Hopefully the lan party will be fun, I don’t think I’ll know many people there, so I’m a bit worried I’ll be bored if people decide to play games I don’t have… we’ll see. It’s a BBQ too, so I could always hover by the food if I get in the mood. Of course the lan party wont be online either, which is disappointing, but he just has dial up, and I can’t imagine how awful it would be if we tried to give any sort of net connection to the network ;)

irc.clockbot.net merged with the xelium servers last night. Of course the merger didn’t go as smoothly as we would have liked and we had about 8 hours of downtime *oops* Just a communication breakdown between admins caused the DNS to get screwed up… but it was fixed, and when I woke up this morning we were all linked, yay! I really appreciate the time Myk spent on it… things have been crazy this week with him getting a new job, driving to the old job in New Jersey, getting everything settled for the new job. It’s really amazing that he had time to deal with the silly IRC server %)

They fixed vendetta so now I can play it with my little glibc 2.5.5 woo! Fixed it quickly too, I’m pleasently surprised %) … not that I have time for it, must resist gaming!!!

Worked on the clockbot.net site a bit today (still locally)… finished writing the php form that people will fill out to email me to request a quote… was stumped for a bit on some permissions issues, which was frustrating… but I figured it out (it was fairly easy in the end, I dunno what I was thinking), but it’s cool. I’ll work on each of the sections in more detail sometime, since they don’t sound very professional at the moment %)

Oh, yesterday I updated the real princessleia.com … so it’s all prettier now, woo! I think I like it… it’ll probably take a few days before I know for sure, if I really like it, hehe.

Anyway, yeah, busy day… should be a nice weekend. Now I go finish laundry *wanders off*

o/` Pocahontas Soundtrack o/`

Last night was uneventful. Sometimes allergy medicine does different things to me.. last night was one of those nights where it made me insanely drowsy. Myk came home and took a nap because his allergies were really getting to him (he’s got a dr’s appointment on friday, yay!)… so I was on the computer, completely zoned out, trying to form coherent sentances in IRC, failing miserably, until I went to wake up Myk… of course he didn’t want to get up, so I snuggled with him for a while… nodded off a couple times… finally around 9 pm I got myself up and we watched The West Wing, then Law and Order. Afterwards I read for a little while, it was nice… and I was fairly tired so it didn’t take long to fall asleep, and I slept really well, which is good ’cause that doesn’t happen often.

I think I am going to make an “adventures” section of my site… I got the idea from a friend of ours who has some of his adventures on his website. What’s an adventure? Just the kind of story you tell friends to get them to laugh or be amazed. Like our curtain shopping experience last year, or when the squirrel got into our apartment… It’ll be cool to have a detailed record of these ‘adventures’… since I’m getting old and my memory is failing (haha).

So someone in IRC just mentioned McDonalds. Wow, McDonalds. It’s funny, I havent been to one in over a year… so in my mind they just stop existing, or become a joke (people don’t really eat there!). Why did I stop eating at McDonald’s? A variety of things. First of all I could afford better food ;) … I don’t really like the *taste* of McDonald’s food (besides random girlish cravings), and it’s often so greasy that it makes me ill anyway… plus I stopped eating beef, so that kills about 3/4 of the menu there (if you believe their burgers are made of beef, which is arguable), and did you know that there is beef fat in the stuff the fry the fries in? *shrugs* So yeah, I don’t really like it there. And it’s horrible for you %D I am trying to stick to a healthy diet… fast food places are easy to avoid.

I took a nice walk yesterday, it was sunny and very nice out, and I noticed, yet again, how blindingly pale my skin is. I am not one of those people who can’t get a tan… I just never really cared, what kind of geek would I be if I had a tan? Hehehe… maybe if I had a laptop I’d get outside more often. *Pulls self back into reality* I really should get outside more. I do enjoy being outside, maybe I’ll take some time this summer to do some reading on the porch, or on the grass outside, there are places where people sit out and relax on the lawn, and I should take advantage of this nice area while I can!

On the bright side, someone I know from Virginia pointed me to the direction of a Virginia state website that talked about a new anti-spam law that’s was just signed into existance. Lots of states have anti-spam laws, but this one makes it a felony! I saw that yahoo! had caught wind of this story today, so I am sure you have all heard it by now. But how cool is that?! 1-5 years in jail, fines, AND the authorities have the right to seize any hardware pertaining to the spam business… plus the fact that it’s a felony, and your record will have that blemish on it for the rest of your life. It’s very cool though, spam has gotten insanely out of control, and anything the government can do to regulate it would be appreciated by internet citizens worldwide. And maybe then ISPs can stop doing stupid things like blocking IPs of people who run mailservers just because they assume that spam is being put out by them (grr!!!).

I am really not sure what I will do today. I might try to pull myself into a designing mood so I can work on my sites, I really do need to get caught up with that… I’ve been so lazy.

Speaking of being lazy, yesterday afternoon I was sorta wandering around my computer aimlessly, and then someone posted an ebay url in irc. Now I’m a recovering ebay-aholic, so it’s never good to paste these things! Anyway, the au
ction was for a quad processor alpha, which interested me but it was HUGE and way out of my price range (hell, everything is out of my price range, my savings consists of 65 cents)… but I decided to do some poking around ebay for a cdrom drive. What’s frustrating is that I just need a crappy old drive, and shipping costs on any computer equipment is expensive. I can’t really go to a store and buy a decently priced one, I’d be lucky if I could get my hands on *just* a cdrom anyway, since everything is all about writable cds and such now. I want to spend like $10 on a 24x drive someone has stuffed in a box somewhere. But who do I ask? I don’t really have many real life friends… and the few people I do know who might have such a thing I have never actually spoken to beside a wave and hello in passing, gah I dunno… maybe something will turn up, getting my test box up and running isnt all that important anyway… and if it comes down to it I could just borrow a drive from another computer just for the debian install *shrugs*

A bunch of friends are now playing vendetta (http://vendetta.guildsoftware.com). So they finally convinced me to install it on my system, cool… it’s just a small shell script you download (after registering… and yes, you can play on windows too) and install as root, then just run vendetta. So I did that.

(lyz@r2d2) lyz $ vendetta
update.rlb: /lib/libc.so.6: version `GLIBC_2.3′ not found (required by update.rlb)

Flooby! I need glibc 2.3 … I have 2.2.5 because that’s what debian stable has. Can I upgrade? Sure! Is it worth it? Absolutely not %) It’s just a game, I just wanted to check it out, the last thing I need right now is something to waste my time even more. Luckily this issue has been addressed, and they are fixing it so they dont require 2.3 … hopefully sometime next week I can start playing %) Oh wait, I said I don’t have time for it… oh I am so torn!

Anyway, I need to go take a shower and get some stuff worked on. *yawns and wanders off*

o/` A. Badalamenti – Haunting and Heartbreaking (Lost Highway Soundtrack) o/`

I’ve been doing a lot of media editing this morning. First I watched “The Turbo Diner” … the Wallace and Gromit short for this week at atomfilms.com. Then I took a bunch of screenshots for it for my site… like I did with Auto Chef. That reminded me that I still need to take shots of the soccer one (it used to be available for download, so I have it downloaded). I will do that later %) Then, I dont quite recall what reminded me, but I took some time to chop up the Lost Highway Soundtrack mp3 I had (a friend in Belgium sent it to me, whole soundtrack as one mp3). I used Audacity to do this, which let me open the mp3 (66 mb worth) and save it as .wav files… I’m encoding it to ogg right now. I’ll see how much quality I lose, if it’s too bad that’s ok, all I’ve wasted is time. I know I have mentioned the audacity program before, but it really is cool, and simple.. great for someone like me who just wants to chop up music files and knows nothing about the actual music %) Yay for free linux apps!

Last night we got some pizza, it was yummie, I’m going to go raid the ‘fridge soon so I can scoop up some leftover pizza for lunch %d .. but yeah, we just relaxed last night, Myk was really happy about the new job, I was excited for him of course. He’s starting there monday %) YAY! We’ve even started to look at places in the area to live. It’s near Hatboro, which means we can probably get an inexpensive 2 bedroom apartment (1 room for us, one for the computers of course!)… or maybe even rent a house. We have quite a bit of time to look (don’t plan on moving til December)… I’m sure we can find a nice place %)

I got an email from someone this morning about my “Binding Windows Keys In Linux” section of princessleia.com. It’s always so cool when people email me like that, especially if it’s about the linux stuff.. this time it was just an email thanking me for having the site up for help, and to tell me that the Red Hat directions that I had up work for 7.3 and 9.0 as well (I mentioned on the site that I had only tested it for 7.2). So I updated the site to reflect that and emailed him back to thank him for testing it on other versions. Yay! I just wish someone with a keyboard unlike mine would give me some feedback!

Did a bit more work on the clockbot computing site yesterday. Still having trouble finding direction when it comes to how it should look unfortunately… I showed it to Myk, and he was pleased with what I had so far, but it’s just not good enough! I wish I was more creative… I posted that screenshot of princessleia.com’s test page yesterday, but now looking at it, I really don’t think I like the border around the logo n stuff *shrugs* I’ll keep playing with it I guess.

*wanders off to eat lunch and work on stuff*

o/` Cinderella Soundtrack Prologue o/`

I finished making oggs of my disney soundtracks, something like 600 mb of oggs %) Hehe.

Well we wont be moving to New Jersey *leaps for joy* … Myk got a call yesterday from a guy we know from PLUG, and he wanted to get Myk into the company he works for for an interview. Myk went in for the interview this morning, and came out with a new job, woohoo! It’s closer than Jersey would be, but we’re still planning on moving once the lease is up here, hopefully we can find a place close to shops where I could get a job. Anyawy, this is great news, I’m so happy, Myk is so smarty %) He’ll be starting as soon as next week.

I’ve done more work on clockbot.net (on the home lan, the site still points to bevilacqua.us) … not sure really what to do with it. I could make a simple design like I did for bevilacqua.us … but I sorta want to show off my “skills” as a web designer. Unfortunately I’m not very artistic, and *all* my sites are pretty basic, doh! I want something that’ll look really nice, but I’m having trouble getting ideas. I might just go ahead and work on the php form (use to get estimates on website/hosting stuff) since I’m not in a design mood *shrugs*

I did get a little more done on the test page for princessleia.com … Click Here For Screenshot.

So clockbot.net/mst3k.org (PsiBlade IRC Network) is going to be merging with another IRC network. I have my issues with this, since the other network is a gaming network, with mp3 sharing rooms (arrrgg warez spam!)… and the server is usually about 150-200 users strong, but it could be a good thing. They tried to assure me that warez spammers have not been a problem (and they are dealt with swiftly), but there is the loss of that “family feel” that we have on the network right now *shrugs* I also understand that the “family feel” also might drive new people away… who wants to inhabit a dead network of mostly existing friendships? At least with a bigger server there is always some place people can go for activity. It’ll be cool being an ircop on a big server anyway ;) So the merger will occur sometime this week we hope.. of course everyone will need to reregister their rooms and nicknames, since we’ll be using their services (stable unix services, not like the crappy, incomplete, unstable, windows ones we have now). It’s a good change I think… and if not we could always go back, it’s not like linking is impossible to undo.

I went for a walk earlier today, wanted to “take a walk before the thunderstorms started” … I came home fairly wet. Damn rain coming before my walk was done! It’s ok though, I like rain.

Hmmm, I guess that’s all I feel like writing about. *wanders off to get some work done.*

o/` Simple Minds – Don’t You Forget About Me o/`

I love linux. There are so many things I can do with linux that I couldnt even begin to dream about with windows.

On that note, a friend of mine this weekend decided he wanted to install linux. Ok… but it seems that he didn’t want to take the time. I don’t know what he expects from linux, but it seems most of what he does on the computer is chat and anon. filesharing… so would linux be beneficial to him? In the end, I doubt it. It all depends on what kind of computer user you are, I wouldnt dream of recommending it to everyone! As for me, I couldn’t go back to windows.

Now I had a very frustrating experience this weekend. This person in IRC asked for some help with an mirc script (ugh) but it was something pretty simple, so I took a couple minutes and wrote something up for him. Once pasted he said “oh, someone else got it for me, sorry” … wtf? I just wasted my time doing something for him, and I don’t get a thank you, i get a “sorry someone else did it first” … sometimes I think he views himself the center of the universe. I made it clear to him I wouldn’t waste my time helping him again. So I decided I’d make up a simple ranting list of things I despise when people ask me for help… but first I will make it clear that I LOVE teaching, I enjoy taking the time to help people who are having problems, maybe it’s a vanity thing, I like looking smart, hee. Now on with the list (these mostly have the theme “dont fucking waste my time”):

1. If you want my help, ask nicely then hang around so I can help you… don’t go into 345 chat rooms asking other people the same thing so you can come back in time to see that all the work I’ve done for you is useless because you already found the solution.

2. Sure I’ll help with windows where I can… but if your trouble has to do with a virus you got for a stupid reason (not scanning with antivirus software, using kazaa, etc) I’ll send you to the Symantec website and you’re on your own.

3. Always, ALWAYS do a google search for your trouble first. Of course if you are are a total newbie I’ll excuse this, since it’s sometimes difficult to find help for things that seasoned users take for granted (and sometimes you dont know enough about the context of the problem to search for it)… but by using google you not only prove to me that you can fix a problem yourself (I REALLY respect that), but you look much smarter if you only ask questions you are really stumped on. I’ve half-joked in the past that success with computers is directly proportional to your ability to use a search engine.

4. If I am going to take the time to help you, you better be willing to take the time as well. I don’t appreciate it when people want me to help, but complain and don’t want to take the time to fix something, I am not willing to admin your box for you unless you pay me %)

5. It’s always on MY TIME. Don’t expect me to come online when it’s “easiest for you” I am the one spending time helping you, that’s sacrifice enough. You come online when I’m here, if that’s impossible then you just have to deal with through email/journal/message board help when I get to it.

I should put this on my website… I wish I didn’t need to, but I’ve run into all these problems with people in the past, it’s amazing what people will ask and expect from me.

Anyway, I had a great weekend. Which is really cool because we didn’t do much, I just felt really happy and healthy %) On saturday night we went over to our friend’s house (Barry and Rae) so Rae could tech me to knit. Got there around 7, stayed til a little past midnight… and I can knit now! Woo! Ok, I can only do two stitches (well, there are only two in knitting, and knit and a purl) and I don’t know how to do anything like knitting through a backloop (eek!) but I can do simple things, which is really cool, I couldn’t do that on friday and I can do it today! Maybe it’s that sense of acomplishment and “Creating something *real*” that put me in such a good mood. I spent a coupl
e hours yesterday practicing %) Yesterday we went grocery shopping, it went well, the store wasn’t too busy, the cashier and grocery bagger did their job (unlike our last visit with the evil old bitches). I like when I leave a grocery store still in a good mood, it doesnt happen often.

After shopping I did some knitting, we ate dinner (boca burgers, they are veggie burgers since we don’t eat beef… we tried the ‘flame grilled’ ones, soooo good!), then Myk suggested we take a walk since it was so nice out. It was great! Absolutely perfect weather for a walk, and I always enjoy taking walks with Myk %) The rest of the night I spent doing knitting… trying a few different things, I guess I’m doing pretty good, I can fix most mistakes I make. And it really is relaxing. Oh and I started making my disney soundtracks into oggs … I had gotten away from listening to them when I lived with my ex (asshat!), just because he teased me all the time about even owning them… even if myk raises and eyebrow at me and laughs it’s understandable, it is funny that I still enjoy such things, but he knew that from the beginning.

Speaking of music, Myk set up minute (our firewall/gateway/webserver/mailserver/media server) to play music through our stereo! The stereo is in the livingroom, so we can play music on minute (mpg123/ogg123 + screen) and hear it in the livingroom, it’s so cool. Now I don’t need to take up a bunch of processor power on my own computer (cool because when I do things like make oggs or play with x things get slow) AND I can hear music no matter where I am in the apartment. Myk is so smarty…and great with music stuff.

So we’re going to a lan party on saturday *is so excited* … we picked up some chocolate chips at the grocery store so I can make chocolate chip cookies on friday for the lan party ’cause I love cookies, and everyone else does too, hehe… I have no doubt they will all be eaten %D So yeah, lan party… it’s at our friend Brent’s house, his wife is on vacation so he has the house to himself, and the first thing he thought of was having a party, hee. This’ll be a great beginning to May %) Of course next week I have that procedure done to remove the irregular cells, that wont be so great… but at least we get to go to a great lan party first.

Ummm… oh I am deciding to redesign princessleia.com … not drastically, but I am so bored with how it looks now. I did some work on it on saturday, *digs up a screenshot of how it currently looks* (it’s living on the home LAN at the moment, s’why the php stuff is broken in the poll)

http://www.princessleia.com/images/MyImages/screen/testpage2.jpg

It might be a bit busy with all those vertical tildas … I might get rid of the center two rows, but I really like the new logo and the purple rose %) I think I’ll play around with the placement of the quote thing as well. *shrugs*

So today I’m going to make more oggs of my soundtracks, and I’m going to play around with the new look of princessleia.com … also I’ll get to work on the new clockbot.net … which as I mentioned before will be the site for “Clockbot Computing” … our little consulting business. I think the biggest hurdle will be finding enough content for it. I’m going to write a form that people can fill out to email us to ask for quotes, a section linking each of our resume’s, a section completely describing what we offer… *shrugs* should be a fun project.

But right now I need more coffee and a shower *wanders off*

o/` Peter Murphy – Things To Remember o/`

Well the great news is I heard a on thursday that atomfilms is releasing one of the cracking contraptions shorts for viewing per week! The Autochef this week… I updated wallaceandgromit.net to reflect it:

WallaceAndGromit.net News

Having a fan site is so much fun %)

Oh and this evening I am going over to a friend’s house and she’s going to start teaching me to knit, woo! I am going to try to make a One Skein Knitted Scarf… hopefully I’ll catch on quickly, I havent learned anything new like this one-on-one from someone in a long time. Should be fun anway, I’m looking forward to it.

Yesterday was pretty much a waste. I cleaned the apartment, spent about an hour cleaning out that “new” case of mine… it had all sorts of label stickers on it for different things, and getting the sticky stuff off was a nighmare! (Yeah, I’ve tried all the usual things…). It looks fine now, even if it’s still a little sticky in some places. Then I… well I don’t know what I did, what did I do all day? I really didn’t chat much, never even got around for going for a walk! Anyway, at least the apartment was cleaned %)

My father called around 3, just as I was going to go out to take a quick walk before Myk got home (he usually gets out of work at 3:30). Ugh. I hadn’t talked to my father in a few months, ’cause I dont call him.. hell, I dont call any of my family unless it’s a birthday or something… emails suffice. So after he got over his whole “you never call thing” he started back into the “when are you visiting” thing. This is mostly why talking to my father puts me in such a foul mood. He wants to press what HE wants to talk about and doesnt even listen to me. I had never gotten around to telling him about the irregular cells that they found, so I told him, and TOLD HIM that I wouldn’t be able to travel in early May because of it. And 10 minutes later in the conversation he asks if i can come up before memorial day! HAH! Not only that, he didn’t seem concerned at all, the only thing he asked is “are you covered under insurance?” … come on! Again and again he was pressing the issue of me coming to visit, each time I tried to change the subject he wouldnt listen to me and would just come back to me visiting. I tell him I have medical issues that need to be resolved, that we are moving in the near future, that we just bought a new car, AND STILL he asks if we have money to visit! Then when he finally understands that we don’t he suggests that I borrow some money!!! Borrow money from a bank for a vacation!? He is obviously living in a fantasy world now, and it makes me so angry. I realize that he’s in alcohol rehab, and part of that is the whole “repairing of old wounds” but he’s putting on this act, trying to be like his father… he wants to meet with my sisters and I to give us some lecture on the future and our place in it. Thanks dad, trying to be the father now that you never were when I needed it. I don’t blame my father for how I turned out, or any of my ‘issues’ … most people have had much worse life than me, I’m not going to complain about my place in the world… but I despise that he feels he can still talk down to us, he can still treat us like we are 13.

I’m sure I’ve mentioned many of those things here before %) But it just bothers me, and makes me upset.

I printed off my first “bill” for the seawinds realty people yesterday. We decided on the name “Clockbot Computing” for our little ‘business’ .. and probably this week sometime I am going to start working on a design for clockbot.net for clockbot computing, woo! I love making webpages (% Hehe… So yeah, I am not sure what to have on it yet… clients (ok there has been only one), resumes… ummm, yeah that’s about where my ideas end %) But I’m going to try to use sorta the same clock motif as i did on the old clockbot.net (no longer around, it just points to be
vilacqua.us now).

Anyway, I have spent more time on this than I wanted to, so now I go start my day. *wanders off*