o/` Stabbing Westward – Stabbing Westward – Perfect o/`

I cleaned this morning, you know what it means when I clean and it’s not a friday? No, the place is not a mess! I’m depressed again. Bleh.

All through my high school career I did very well in my classes. I would never have called myself an over-achiever there, I did work much harder than a lot of people, but I never was able to get ahead the way I wanted to *shrugs* … still I graduated with an A- average, and never came home with a report card grade under a B-. My parents came to expect that. When I worked my ass off for 3 days to study for a history test and came home with a 99 my parents didn’t care… When my sister came home with a 93 on an exam that she “actually studied for” they threw a party. I would come home completely crushed when I got a D on a chemistry test, and my mother would MOCK ME “aww, you didnt get an A?” then “Well do better on the next one and your grade will be good” my sister came home with a D and it’s all *support* … My entire life has been marked by this sort of thing. I worked at a gas station… when I didn’t do extra work it was all “what is wrong with you?” when a lousy worker actually got all their appointed work done it was “good job!” … I am so sick of this double standard. I don’t expect my life to be all praise, but I hate being taken for granted…

I was talking to a friend this morning, recalling the “days when I was poor” … it was really sad. I guess it cheered me up a little ’cause I have so much to be thankful now that I am living with Myk… we may not be able to buy a BMV … but at least we can afford to buy what we want and need at the store every week.

I started work on that daily “check if there is a birthday” script yesterday. I only got a far as writing the first part about getting the next day, it’s not as simple as date + 1 … then leap years, i didnt even take into account that anyone’s birthday could be on febuary 29th, if it was i’d remember it %) I started working on the mysql query, and got a bit of a headache and couldnt concentrate anymore so i just got frustrated and gave up. I will hopefully finish it sometime today…

I am going to go noew… *wanders off*

o/` Bjork – Aurora o/`

Linux is better than chocolate chip cookies.

That stupid MS SQL worm has been knocking around comcast networks the past couple days, we checked out the access log and it hit our debian webserver box a bunch of times yesterday. I hate M$.

So we watched the State Of The Union Address last night (and no, I didn’t play the drinking game, just for the record the official count for that was 160 drinks, hee). I had a headache tho, so about 24 minutes into it I just wanted to go to sleep. I finished watching it though, that’s the first time I’ve watched the whole thing! It was just the normal sort of thing, saying he’d increase spending everywhere, while funding a war, cutting taxes and decreasing the budget deficit. Yay for america.

I think most of my entries start out so bitter because I write this in the morning and I am not a morning person.

So, I finally thought of a project to get my mind busy for a little while! See, yesterday I learned how to use the mail command… I was able to send a mail to my yahoo account. So I think I am finally going to write that “mail when there is a birthday” script… See last night I got Myk to set up the internal site for our address/phone/email/birthday book, yay! So now we have the mysql database setup. My script will execute to query the database daily (probably with a simple crontab) and if a birthdate in the database matches the following day it will email me to warn me. It’ll be nice, and it’s something to work on for a bit so I dont feel useless.

So I visited the scifi server the other day, I guess I was just bored… And it was actually fun, finally ‘officially’ apoligized to bluefox83 … I mean he was a jerk too, but I took my “dont forgive” thing a bit too far with him, and I never let him explain himself. And that being part of my psuedo-new-years-resolution it was good to get that out of the way, I hate having people hate me. Anyway, I was chatting in two rooms there… and three fairly active rooms on psiblade, as well as two private messages… and I couldn’t keep up! GAH! I must be losing my touch… the slowness of psiblade and not turning on my instant messangers for a couple months is making me lose my edge ;) Heehee…

Anyway, I am gonna go get to work on this little project of mine, *wanders off*

http://www.marcmelzer.net/sotudg/ <– State Of The Union Drinking Game

o/` Fisher – Believe In Something o/`

I’m so glad monday is over.

I spent most of the day yesterday discovering the Neopets game “NeoQuest” … it’s a little rpg, you gain levels, beat monsters with skills you
can get, use potions to heal yourself, collect magical items. It’s actually quite fun in it’s simplicity, especially since I really love this sort of thing to begin with. I live a sad sad life.

Someone I know in real life just recently got a livejournal. Now I *do* spend time in a chat room with him and a bunch of people who are friends in real life, and I know about half of them, but I still see them as part of my real life world, not my internet world, and I usually just lurk in that room, whenever I say anything I get that clammy-hand feeling like I am saying something outloud to ‘real’ people. This line between reality and the internet has been blurred recently and I guess that’s a bit scary for me. Why? It’s difficult to explain. It’s not that I am a different person in reality, I’m not, but I guess I can get close to people online without being fearful that I need to look them in the eye next week at a party. I just have a difficult time relating to people I spend physical time with… the exception being close friends of course. And I’m afriad that an aquaintance in real life having a “key” to my internet life through my weblog would throw me into some sort of online shyness that I have not experienced yet, and really don’t want that. I really need to get a handle on this shyness thing. So I never did give that real life aquaintance my livejournal name… nor did I add him to my friends list *sigh* Although by going to my main site princessleia.com anyone can get to my journals…

Anyway, this thread of thinking got me to thinking more about this blurred line of internet/reality. The driving fear behind my shyness is the fear of rejection… in real life you must think of social graces, holding yourself properly, having good timing, looking good, getting a word in… but online these things don’t come into play, sure you need to be moderately good at spelling, but you can hop online in your pajamas and if you get into an arguement with someone you just walk away from it, no awkward physical repositioning, just the click of a window or ignore button. Not to say there is no community or cyber-etiquette .. there is, it’s just easier to follow than in real life. So you can make friends, get close to people, without feeling as though you have to live up to some sort of expectation I guess. This is where it gets confusing… If IRC is such a comfort zone for me, why do I have so much trouble talking to acquaintances I have met in real life online? What is it about meeting someone online first that makes them so much easier for me to talk to? If I met pdx6 or radbatik I could probably talk for hours … but if I first met them at a party I wouldn’t say a word, even when approached I would be rather quiet, worried about making a good impression.

Someday I will uncover the madness behind my shyness, I should keep a page on my website documenting this search.

Speaking of webpages, Myk has gotten a lot of work done on bevilacqua.us, YAY! … I made the basic framework html and css (he just doesnt have time) and he’s been putting in some content over the past couple days. He even has pictures and descriptions of all Systems! It’s turning out to be a really nice looking site %)

I got another idea for my site today while I was in the shower … I think instead of using that silly php counter and text file that I have for my counter… I might make a mysql database, a database that will also store the $_SERVER[“HTTP_USER_AGENT”] (browser info) … so I can make some sort of chart with the results of what browsers are identified hitting my site. On load of the
page it will connect to the database, incrimint the number, and add an entry (maybe in another table?) identifying the browser… or maybe I will keep the counter and just grab the browser info, I dont want to slow it down too much… *shrugs*

I guess that’s all I am going to write noew… *wanders off*

o/` Nirvana – All Apologies o/`

*Looks at her two previous entries and shakes her head* No, my weekend was not dominated by drinking, s’just at those particular times all I could think of was the act and the results when I decided to write in my web logs.

The superbowl was last night, I didn’t watch it, completely forgot about it til I got onto IRC on Sunday morning and a couple people were talkingabout it. I hate sports.

So I log onto Yahoo! this morning to check my email, and scan the headlines quickly to see what’s going on in the world (my daily dosage of biased news from Yahoo! YAY!)… and BELOW the superbowl scores I see “Powell says has lost faith in inspections” … now did we have any doubt they were going to pull this? “You didn’t tell us what we wanted to hear, you must have failed” … fucking US, the UN won’t support our government if we attack, and according to stats I heard on NPR saturday 63% of Americans do not want to risk a war without UN support. But these statistics and predictability of the stupid US’ actions are not what amaze me about this whole thing… it’s that the freaking superbowl stats are listed ABOVE important lifeordeath war news! I read another article recently about Janeane Garofalo’s Anti-War stance, and she correctly said “It’s disgusting that we know more about Winona Ryder’s trial than we do about the Iraqi people.” … I don’t by any means see her as my hero for saying something like this, but it’s good a few people who can get camera time on the news are voicing an opinion, even if the media proceeds to tear them to pieces. I hate war.

What a wonderful monday, two of the three first paragraphs end with me hating things *tries to change the mood of this entry*

It snowed last night %) It’s so pretty out now.. and I’m watching for snow squirrels o_o … what’s a snow squirrel? Well last year was VERY mild here, so even when there were flurries it was always bordering the freezing mark, and the squirrels spent the entire winter preparing for winter, they were out looking for food and stuff to make their little squirrel-homes warm even when it was snowing! The first time we saw this was when Myk was on his computer and looked out the window in front of him and saw a little squirrel looking at him, before it scampered off into the snow. It was so cute %)! There havent been as many this year, maybe they realized that winter is here for real this time, hehe. So, thinking about squirrels this morning I wandered over to some squirrel sites, like squirrels.org (a site which I must commend, because although their site is a mess of evil java, you DO have the option of seeing it as “text only”)… did you know that the original name of a squirrel (skiouros … named in anchient greece) means “he who sits in the shadow of his tail” ? Yay! Useless facts!

Last night while reading up in my World History For Dummies book, I realized that over the past few months I really have learned enough about anchient history to finally have a solid base for learning more. I can give a fairly accurate picture from what is known about the beginning of civilized world til the fall of the roman empire. Again, I know we learned all this stuff in school, but I just dont remember. What is it about learning in school that did me absolutely no good? Was it just because I didn’t care? Is the method used to teach history bad? I remember the history that we learned in “fun” ways (games, interesting projects) even as far back as 5th grade.. and yet I can’t remember learning some things we were taught in my junior year of high school. I suppose it’s a bit of both, if some teacher had gone far enough to actually spark my interest in history instead of just going by the textbook learning method of temporary memorization I probably would have been interested and learned more. *Shrugs*

I have finished three books since my last review, so here are my most recent ones…:

Dune Messiah, By Frank Herbert, 331 pages
Thsi book takes place a few years after the first, Dune. Paul “Muad’dib” Atreides (now the Emperor), has secured his hold as ruler of the known universe through his massive Jihad. The guilds outwardly obey his wishes, millions of religious pilgrims are flocking to Arrakis, the world of the Messiah. It is obvious from this book that Herbert expects the reader to be completely familiar with his world. Like the first book, his attention to character AND plot development is complete, even in so few pages. Basically this book is focused on a single plot (of many before it no doubt) which precededs Paul’s final steps to becoming “immortal.” An excellent book, this series is quickly turning into being one of the best I’ve ever read.

Brave New World, By Aldous Huxley, 270 pages
This book is of the genre that books like 1984 and Fahrenheit 451, and movies like “Gattaca” and “Brazil” … it’s the future, technology has taken over, and we have order but no freedom. In the world of BNW, people are not born, but manufactured for different social classes, each essencial for a thriving society. They are conditioned to feel and behave in a certain manner, suited for their place in society and kept blissful through various entertainment, sexual promiscuity, and a manufactured drug called “soma.” This book was amazingly written, the future so frighteningly believable (yet we hope humanitarians would never let scientists go quite this far!). The social commentary in the last portions is very interesting, explainations of how and why the society “civilization” was made and suceeds in this form was enthralling and scary. Wonderful book.

The Door To December, By Dean Koontz, 510 pages
This book tells of a girl who, kidnapped from her mother by a crazed father, is recovered but is no longer a normal 9 year old girl. The story quickly unfolds, and a clever detective must solve a string of inexplicable murders surrounding the girl’s case, all while trying to keep the girl and her mother safe from unknown enemies. This is the first Koontz book I’ve ever read, and it interested me because of it’s paranormal ties. I guess the only problem I had with it was that it’s ending was rather abrupt, the ending comes 2 1/2 pages after the climax, certainly not enough time to resolve everything to my liking. Still, it was a good, yet not difficult to read, book… It kept me turning the pages chapter after chapter.

Whee books.

So it was recently brought to my attention by a friend that I might be “missing out” on part of life because I have never truly been on my own and single. They were concerned that I’d grow up and hit middle-age and realize that I never lived the single crazy life that I should have. Myk has hinted at similar possibilities… I don’t believe they are correct, but I can’t help but wonder a little bit. Everyone I’ve ever dated (4 guys) I met online and since 1998, when I started dating my first online boyfriend (at 17) I haven’t been single for more than a total of 3 weeks. I guess I do tend to rush into things, but at the same time, with 2 out of the 3 previous relationships I was in I dragged it out, feeling guilty for breaking up with them, putting it off until there were absolutely no feelings left. And EVERYTIME there have been male friends around to comfort me. Now, each time, I naively thought they really were all trying to be sweet, comforting friends, but as SOON as I started dating someone again I hardly heard from these other guys. I guess Myk is the exception, he was always a close friend. I guess what I am trying to say, is with my personality, it would be difficult for me to resist being in a relationship. I am just not the kind of person to have a “one night stand” … so if I wanted to enjoy my time with someone in more than just a “friendly” relationship I’d have to be involved with them… I guess a big part of my problem is that I have trouble keeping myself happy, alone. I spent most of my high school career being alon
e, and I fear that now, if someone offers me attention I draw from that, and do everything in my power to return that attention. Is this a bad thing? I suppose I do demand a lot of attention, especially from Myk … I’m one of those “high maintenance” girlfriends, hehe… Anyway, I do intend to spend the rest of my life with Myk, so maybe I have missed out being crazy and single, but do I need that? I have supported myself, lived in a “real world” while one of my ex’s sat on his ass and played video games in our apartments, been responsible for my own well-being, is that enough to be well-rounded?

Enough of that…

Ah, so, my weekend. Friday evening I went grocery shopping (yuck), took back dvds to blockbuster, and got that check from my grandparents cashed.I got home and certainly didnt feel like making dinner, so around 7 I called the local Indian Food place, and went to pick up some beer and the yummie dinner. It was soooo yummie, and despite my craving for beer that I’ve had for weeks, I only had two beers. Saturday I got up around 10:30, played around uselessly online for a couple hours, woke up Myk… then around 2 Myk’s friend from work came over so he could get Debian installed on his system. I read most of the afternoon while they did the install, but I spent a little time hanging out in the computer room with them. It was interesting to see a windows lover try to use linux. There is no such thing as a perfect linux install on a new system, and that was difficult to explain to someone who had always used windows. And it quickly became apparent that he is scared of the command line, which isn’t cool. We got pizza and buffalo wings around 5ish, and Myk showed Brent a bunch of linux things, got KDE set up for him, and by 9 pm he had a pretty nice linux system running. After he left we both had doubts about how far he is going to take it, his fear of the command line is going to severely deter his learning… I guess I definately take my interest in computers for granted, I just dove into everything linux when I began using it, I suppose it’s not that easy for everyone.

Before Brent left we started drinking a little (apparently he doesn’t drink tho *sigh*), I ended up getting really silly around 11ish… and at one point I was trying to find this stuffed animal that I COULD HAVE SWORN that I still had, it was driving me crazy, I went through ALL of them and couldnt find it! I then blamed my drunken state for my inability to locate this toy, but even the next day I was looking and couldnt find it, very very strange… the gnomes took it %( I’ll find it the next time we move, it’ll be packed with all my stuff and I’ll know I am crazy. Anyway, we had a nice night on saturday, I got pretty toasted, yay! Sunday moring I felt like crap of course, but I drank lots of water, and was never far from the Advil, and by the afternoon I was feeling fine again. I read for a while in the afternoon… made boca burgers for dinner (yum!)…

Yep, that was my weekend. Goddamn this has been a long entry %s I am going to go work on things noew *wanders off*

ooooh… my head. %(

<3 Beer

o/` Stabbing Westward – So Far Away o/`

So I woke up this morning and cleaned the apartment *fun* heh… While I was cleaning the bathroom one of the 4 little vanity lights above the sink blew %s … it made a poping sound and the bulb actually cracked, scared the crap outta me. So I called the leasing office to ask what type of bulb it was so when I went to replace it I’d get the right one, and they said they’d send someone down to replace it for us, yay!

Yesterday I spent most of the day working on a template for bevilacqua.us .. I made some pretty good ones I think, Myk likes them… I guess he’s going to work a bit more on some images for it, and there is basically *no* content in the test pages so we need to make some %)

Eh, so the windows services on psiblade are being fairly stable now… I guess they were going down daily because there was some sort of conflict between the two services packages that were both running on it… shade stopped hosting the second so now it’s just a crappy little windows box hosting our services… Myk is still making up ones on the cobalt, but only for backup, so we’ll have them setup somewhere if the windows ones become insanely unstable again. I offered to write some help files for the windows services, so I’ll probably be working on those next week.

Last night was uneventful, I made dinner, read for a while.. finished Brave New World, then went to bed around 1 am. Yay for my exciting life.

It’s already noon and I have no idea what I want to do this afternoon… After Myk gets home from work we are going to head up to the bank to cash this check from my grandparents, then head up to the beer store, YAY! I dunno if I wanna get sierra nevada or go all out and grab some Chimay or Duvel… Chimay or Duvel is almost 3 times the cost of the sierra nevada, but it’s so good! Maybe we’ll grab some Indian food for dinner too, or pizza *shrugs* it would be nice…

Tomorrow a friend of Myk’s from work (who I know from a couple lan parties) is probably coming over. He always makes jokes about how impossible linux is to use as a workstation (he was especially amused when we were at the lan party on new years and my box didnt have *any* of the tools to setup dhcp… he’s like “hah! I just go to windows and *bang* i’m on the network”), but apparently he’s seen the light and wants to come over so we can help him install Debian, YAY! It’ll probably be a dual boot because he does like to play games, but it’s cool that someone comes to us for help with an install.

I’ve noticed lately going to sites that there are TONS out there now that are an excess of 300k. How widespread is broadband these days anyway? I couldn’t imagine surfing the web today with a dial up connection… I went to this ISP site, where they advertised dial up and DSL services, and the page was 1000k!!! Now someone on AOL going to that page would have to wait for that page to load! It’s absurd. And here I am paranoid when a page of mine hits 40k.

Wow, I can’t stay focused on anything in this entry today… I guess I should end this before confusion preveils. *wanders off*

o/` A Perfect Circle – Judith o/`

An aquaintance of mine uploaded the entire “Mer de Noms” (A Perfect Circle) album for me, YAY! I already had a few of the songs, but it was nice to get them all… oh shh you anti-mp3 sharers, I probably would never have bought the album even if I did have the money… it’s pretty run-of-the-mill rock, I only pay for things which are unique.

I went to check my account balance yesterday… $30.. about what I was expecting. So I decided it would be a good idea to close out my account. There was virtually no chance of me getting anymore money in the near future, so that $30 would just slowly be eaten away by monthly account fees, and I much rather put it to good use. So Myk came home around 12:30, got the mail… and I got a letter from my grandparents, I looked at the envelop, then just tossed it on my desk and said I’d read it later. We went to Fleet Bank, closed out my account, then realized we had almost 2 hours until my doctor’s appointment. So we went back home, I took the chance to open the letter from my grandparents, and out falls a $500 check. EGADS! The letter said that they had helped all the “kids” (grandchildren) in the family, and they were giving me a check to try to “catch up” with the rest of them financially. I REALLY didn’t need it though! I guess they thought I did because I kept trying to put off a visit up there. But in the letter they said this is “no strings attached” and they would “send more money for a trip up to see them if I needed it” Well… even if we DID need money to visit family I wouldn’t admit it to them, so I guess I am just going to save this money under my matress or something. Of course since I just closed my account I will have to find a place to cash it *doh!* … since it’s a fleet check I guess I’ll just go up to Fleet on friday and pay the $2 or whatever fee to get it cashed… Or Myk and I can open a savings account together with it *shrugs* In any event, we should really start planning a trip up to see my family in New England.

So of course we got lost going to the doctor’s appointment, I cant direct my way out of a cardboard box %( We always get lost. Anyway, on the way there we were listening to NPR and they mentioned that January 22nd was the 30th anniversary of the verdict of Roe v. Wade… GAH!!! Of course, I pick THAT DAY to go to an openly pro-choice gynecologist. That didn’t do anything good for my nervousness already surrounding this sort of checkup %) But the visit went well, I’m healthy %)! And I actually weigh 5 pounds less than I did last year… how can that be?! I ate like 10 cookies a day and drank lots of beer for the whole month of december! I havent taken a walk (because of the cold) since November!!! … bah, I guess a good diet (and good metabolism) have a lot to do with good health and weight… I realized yesterday that I haven’t even been to a McDonald’s in over a year! Nor any other fast food places (besides subway and getting pizza … does that count as fast food?)… amazing. Anyway, I’m glad I’m healthy, and the visit was very inexpensive, Health Insurance is neat!

After the doctor’s visit I was feeling pretty crappy (the checkup is quite uncomfortable, and a bit painful you see…). But I asked Myk if we could stop by a used bookstore that I saw on our way there. Of course it’s in a tiny little shopping center with 3 parking spaces for each store, but we found a space and went into the store. I’ve seen better used book shops, but this wasnt bad. The front room was almost completely filled with romance novels (this is normally the case in used bookstores) and in the back they had a fairly good selection of scifi/fantasy.. it wasnt stellar, a lot of crappy scifi (obviously the person running the bookstore wasn’t a major scifi/fantasy person), but I found a couple good books. Picked up Speaker For The Dead and Xenocide (books 2 and 3 in the Ender’s Game Saga … Orson Scott Card, now I just need books 4 & 5 to complete it). And the third Dune book, Children Of Dune, and I wandere
d over to the horror/suspense section and grabbed a couple Dean Koontz books, mostly because I had *never* read any of his books, and they were recommended to me… The Door To December and Intensity. I decided after having this small handful of books that I should leave before I spent too much %) I love bookstores! Hehe… and now I really am set for a while, no ordering from bn.com for quite some time, YAY!

We got home around 5:30 and I took a bath, it was nice %) Then we ate dinner and then watched the second DVD of SciFi Channel’s Dune “Special Editon Director’s Cut” that I got Myk for Christmas (we had watched disk one a couple weeks ago..). I read for a little bit.. I’ve been reading A Brave New World again, and I forgot out great that book is, I guess it’s because the last time I read it I was in high school and I guess I felt I was focusing on how to write essays and pass tests about the book instead of enjoying it. Then around 9 we watched “The West Wing” … great show, then “Law and Order” …those are pretty much the only television shows I watch on a regular basis, I used to watch Adult Swim on the Cartoon Network but just got bored with it, and I sometimes watch CourtTV’s Forensic Files when I don’t feel like reading or I have some sort of headache or something preventing me from reading.

All in all it was a good day yesterday, I was very happy %) Not like icky Monday and Tuesday. Heh, I do still want beer tho %) We have been avoiding buying beer lately because we’re trying to save money… and since we wont buy a case of beer that costs less than $35 a case (we are beer snobs) it is an expense that is large and easy to cut. S’just I miss beer so much! Hehe… I was in IRC yesterday (no way!) and talking to a friend of mine, I said “we havent had beer in the house since new years!” he casually responded “Leia, that’s only 22 days” gah! It’s not like I’m an alcoholic or anything, I just like the taste of beer, and unplugging from the world sometimes %) Then again we HAVE had beer at restuarants twice since newyears *shrugs* maybe I do have a problem and just don’t want to admit to it %P … At least it’s not like the daily drinking habit I got into the summer of 2001 when I was trying to break up with my ex. And it’s legal now. Seriously though, I am being careful, I know I have always had trouble with one sort of addiction or another, and I DON’T want to end up like my father(ruined life, divorced, in rehab).

And now, as if my post today isn’t long enough, a quiz! It’s not as lame as normal ones… it was actually quite interesting, I got the link from blueminder … it’s a personality test, the results are a group of 4 letters that describe you based on answers in the quiz. I’m an INTJ – Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging, just like Gandalf the Grey, Professor Moriarty, and Hannibal Lecter, yay! Hehe.

Anyway, I am going to go figure out what I should do today *looks at the time* gah, almost 10 already *wanders off*

o/` Better Than Ezra – The Killer Inside o/`

Another day…

I have a doctor’s appointment at 2:45 this afternoon *ugh!* … it’s one of those yearly ‘female’ things, so I am looking forward to it less than I would a normal doctor’s appointment, bleh.

Yesterday turned out to be another crappy day. Myk said I have been acting weird the past two days, I guess I have been quiet, not depressed really, just… off. We watched part of “The Evil Dead” last night with Bruce Campbell’s commentary (we rented the DVD on saturday), funny stuff! Oh and we rented the Goodfellas too, I had never seen it before, great movie. Anyway, I decided to take a bath yesterday evening and that made me feel much much better, I came out of that realizing I need to lighten up, and I really shouldn’t worry about everything so much.

Unfortuantely, despite being fairly happy when i went to bed around 10 last night, my night was filled with nightmares. I only remember 2 of them… the first was really dumb, it was about our firewall/gateway/webserver box crashing. YES! I had a nightmare about THAT!!! I guess I hadn’t lightened up as much as I had hoped I would. I woke up sad, and then ashamed at myself for being saddened by something like that… The next was another one of my normal nightmares about “someone I love dying” This time it was Myk… apparently I was an alien (don’t ask me, I don’t have any idea where that came from) and Myk and I had just come home from a night out. We walked up the stairs, and I walked into our room and then turned around to see something come out of the closet and shoot Myk in the head… blood everywhere, ALL OVER me… No doubt the excess blood usage of my dream I can attribute to Evil Dead %) Anyway, the guy with the gun got away, and then my alien friends came to pick me up… I was in total shock by what had happened, and a friend of mine took me in the bathroom to get cleaned up (like nothing bad had happened!) and I started shaking and crying, absolutely wailing… then I woke up. I woke up scared and upset… so for the rest of the night I was snuggled really close to Myk, hehe. I HATE NIGHTMARES!

Did you know if you play Scorchy Slots (Neopets.com) too much in one day your pets refuse to play it anymore that day? I imagine you didn’t know that because it takes a very long time to get to that point, is this how they deal with slot addiction? Hee… never let me loose in Vegas. I did really good with scorchy slots tho! I won lots of great stuff, made like… 30,000 neopoints at LEAST yesterday, hee… *sigh* %)

I messed around with a test ircbot yesterday afternoon, didn’t really acomplish anything, but as always I did learn a bit more about perl, which is always good. Unfortunately when I went to close my bot’s irssi session I accidentally closed mine instead DOH!!! Second day in a row… Anyway… I also edited some of the pages on my webpage, made them a little prettier… worked on my Books section a bit… instead of being 1 page of 45435 reviews, it’s now 3 pages, the first is navigation, a list of authors and books, when you click on one it goes to one of the two corresponding pages. Exciting huh?

Myk got irc.clockbot.net up and running again last night. I guess we aren’t going to host the services just yet, the owner of the stupid windows services says that they will be stable now, so it’s only a matter of time %) farking windows! Hee… Anyway, it’s nice having our wonderful fast ircserver back, and it’s just one less thing to stress our home connection.

Hrm, I just recently realized that I have fallen into a morning pattern… on a normal day I’ll wake up around 7, make the bed, take a shower, toast my bagel while emptying the dishwasher, say “morning” in irc, eat the bagel while checking email (first princessleia.com email, then yahoo), check to see if there are any comments on xanga or livejournal, read everyone who I am subscribed to’s entries (yes, I read them all), make comments,
check on my neopets, all the while checking into irc every couple minutes. Then around 8:30 or so I begin my daily entry. Around 9-10 I finally finish the entry and post it. Then I sit back and try to figure out what I will do all day. Figuring out what I should do all day is really the difficult part %)

I guess I am going to wander off to figure out how I’ll spend my day now *wanders off*