o/` Portishead – Wandering Star o/`

I seem to have trouble with dealing with people at times. Like this recent (past few months) tendancy to get upset at people and not forgive them. You see, I am a very forgiving person, to the point of being taken advantage of time and time again, so a few months ago Myk told me that I should really take a stand with certain people. Which was wise, since I even let people who have hurt me in the past come back and walk all over me over and over again. But I guess I took it too far. This one kid pissed me off one day by kicking me from a room on irc where I had ops. Then he got all pissy with me and acted like a total jerk… so I figured I should just take a stand and not forgive. And of course it turns out that this made these new people that I started chatting with in that room think that I am a terrible person who never forgives anyone! They told me to lighten up *sigh* So as my new years resolution this year, I am going to try to better deal with people concerning forgiveness and their behavior, because although being walked all over “keeps the peace” in most cases, it’s certainly not the way to go with pathological liars and the like… I am reluctant to say “if you betrayed/lied/were an ass x number of times…” because different problems may upset me more than others… and I hate quantifying people like that *shrugs* I will work on it.

So yesterday it snowed, and I wasn’t feeling so great, but we were home and I was snuggled with a good book and quite happy. Then a friend of ours, Nita, gets on IRC and asks if we want to go to the movies. We said “no” about 50 times, but she was fairly persistant, so finally, against our better judgement we said “ok, but you are driving.” Now it’s not like we were going to see a move that I want to see, we were going to go see “The Gangs Of New York” … yes, driving in the snow to see a Dicaprio movie, I dont know what I was thinking either. So Nita came to pick us up, and her car was sliding A LOT, so Myk said “ok, we are taking the Jeep”, we drove back to Nita and Mike’s apartment and then they tell us we need to stop at Mike’s work. Ok. We drive out there and wait for 20 minutes or so for him to get what he needs, THEN we needed to drive into the city to pick up our friend pinkee. Now we expected to do this, but what we didnt expect was spending 45 minutes at her apartment setting up a computer. By this time it was after 7, and we were unsure we’d be able to make it to the movie on time because we were hungry and NEEDED to get something to eat before we went to the theater. Myk ended up getting a little upset, and I really wasn’t feeling well to begin with, so we just told our friends that we wanted to go home. We dropped everyone off at Mike and Nita’s and went home…. it was something like 2 1/2 hours after we left home. 2 1/2 hours of us driving (like we said we didnt want to), terrible road conditions, waiting, and frustration, it was just too much. We probably would have stayed with our “no” answer if we knew it would be such a complicated LONG trip, heh.

I am depressed again. I guess I have been for about a week now, first it was just the typical depression that I get, but then I spoke to my friend Eric. If I were to list the “3 best friends of my life” it would probably be “Leslie, Myk, Eric” … so obviously Eric and I are very close. Well we hadnt had any contact for almost a month because he has been so insanely busy with school, so finally last week I caught him on messanger and was able to talk to him. Apparently he has been very sick the past few weeks. I won’t get into details but it’s fairly serious, and the signs are indicating it might be a difficult to treat form of cancer. There are a few more tests they need to do to rule out certain things or confirm cancer suspicions, but I am worried. I love Eric so much, and if anything were to happen to him… I don’t really want to think about it, but it has got me down. I am just hoping it is not cancer.

I got some work done yesterday on WallaceAndGromit.net … t
hat always cheers me up, I was able to put a Poll up, like the one I have on Princessleia.com, so if you have seen the wallace and gromit movies you can go vote now %) I am afraid my wallace and gromit site doesnt get too many hits… maybe I should promote it more. Then again I am sure the hit count will go up in… 2005 when the full length movie comes out in theaters %) Oh gosh that’s a long time away, hehe. Anyway, I think I am going to put together a guestbook this morning/afternoon on the site.

I guess I am going to go get some stuff done now, god I woke up too early %s

o/’ Miranda Sex Garden – Sunshine o/`

Last night we FINALLY went to go see The Two Towers, it was good, but so long! I love the ents, I think they did a really nice job with them… And the battle scenes were not as bloody as I was lead to believe…

We got home from the movies around 8:45 (went to a 4:10 showing to avoid the crowds, the crowds at movie theaters around here are unbelievable!), and I went to bed around 10, no kidding. I slept until 11 this morning, LOL. I am not sure why I slept that long… it was weird tho, I probably would have slept longer if Myk hadnt gotten up.

Yeah, sleep.

Today I spent a lot of time reading, I just started book 9 of the wheel of time, yay! Book 10 comes out this month, I am trying to be good and patient enough to wait for it to come out on paperback, but I am not sure how sucessful I will be, I guess it all depends on how long it takes to get to paperback, hmmm. I also got my Terry Pratchett books I ordred last sunday, unfortunately the Beauty And the Beast dvd is coming separately, hmmm, I guess I never mentioned buying that… well I was going through my disney movies last week, and realized I didnt have that movie (when I moved out of my parents house we sorta divided up the disney movie collection), and I LOVE that movie, so I bought the dvd… not the 2-disk special edition one, but the old boring one, I wasnt about to spend another $10 for features I didn’t really care much about %) as much as I love the movie. So despite me ordering them and saying they should “ship together” i am getting that one separate, barnes and noble confuses me o_O this is the second time they have done this… oh well, as long as they dont charge for shipping I dont care, hehe.

We went to Uno’s this afternoon with Myk’s friend Bob, it was yummie %d … I got a chicken sandwich instead of pizza ’cause my stomach has been weirdish lately… although I did drink beer, doh… well cheese hurts my tummy more than beer! On our way home we thought about going to Best Buy ’cause they have R2-D2: Under The Dome DVDs %o! That’s a documentary, biography-style, it’s only 20 minutes long I believe, but the DVD is only $5 %) I was sorta pissed because in order to sell this dvd I think they took the quicktime version that you can view on starwars.com off, and tht isnt cool. But I love R2 … and $5 isn’t bad…. But we didnt end up going ’cause traffic on 309 was insane….Oooh there is free shipping on bestbuy.com, neat.

I got an email from a person who had visited my website through a search for Miranda Sex Garden today. It was pretty cool, she’s a pretty big fan but was looking for pointers on buying some of the newer cds and it’s apparently still very difficult to find fan-sites for Miranda. She also asked for a couple mp3s, so I put some in a directory on my site for her, and I sent her some lyrics she asked for. It was pretty cool %) It’s really cool to have people email me because of something they saw on my site, and I felt pretty knowledgable sharing answers to some Miranda questions.

I got my poll put up on princessleia.com yesterday afternoon, it looks really nice if I do say so myself… And yesterday I had hit number 8000! YAY! I love having a site that gets so many hits %) *hugs her sitey*

Anyway, I am going to go through some older files on my system and ‘clean up’ *wanders off*

The weather is terrible this morning… dark, rainy, icy… actually I like it, but it’s terrible to drive in I’m sure. If the weather clears up by this afternoon we get to go see Two Towers %D! YAY! … actually I wont get *too* excited, the weather reports arent looking very promising.

I was actually quite sucessful with my poll yesterday, all I am doing now is working on a page to display the results, I can probably get php to calculate percentages fairly easily, maybe I can even make a sort of bar graph, that’d be cool, all sorts of html fun…

Yeah, so I am going to go do that noew *wanders off*

o/` Something Corporate – Konstantine o/`

This song depresses me, I should not listen to it.

I took down the christmas decorations this morning, it was also depressing, I guess I am not having a very good day so far. It’s also Myk’s first day back to work after 12 days off AND I barely got any sleep last night, of course all this adds up to me having a crappy day. I guess I am just slipping into the post-holiday winter depression again, and that’s not cool. I dont understand it, since I really do like winter, and it’s not the lack of sun thing, I never like the sun %) *shrugs* I think I just tend to feel hopeless around this time of year… and maybe particularly this year because it marks an entire year of me living here, and although I have made staggering progress with the computer, I just don’t feel like it’s enough, I mean, I even know how to cook now! But I still feel like a failure. I guess it’s because I don’t have a job, no matter how muchI glorify my acomplishments at home, I still feel like I am still ‘leeching’ off Myk, and I wasn’t taught to be like that at all *sigh*

I am going to cheer up now, or at least turn this entry in a more positive direction, dwelling on suckiness never helps, and I really am happy in life as a whole, I shouldn’t be depressed.

I have new years pictures YAY!:

Time (Myk) and Relic (the cat)

small . large

Time and Relic again %)

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Grant in his seat near the fireplace

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mct (Mike) in his corner spot

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lost1 (Nita) drinking, YAY!

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PrincessLeia2 (Lyz) drunx0rd

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So I want to make a php poll for my website, using mysql as the database to store votes of course, and I am thinking about how to begin going at it. And while I was thinking about this I realized there was an interesting pattern to all my projects:

1. spend 3-5 weeks talking about it
2. finally get down to business and diving into what I want to do, ignoring IRC, closing browsers, focusing all energies on my project (usually this is on a wednesday or thursday).
3. about 4 hours into it get so frustrated that I complain that I will never get it done and that I’m stupid
4. around hour 5-6 making a major breakthrough and thinking I can finally do it
5. day one ends
6. don’t get much sleep that night because I am thinking about how co
ol the end project will be and how awsome it is that I am being sucessful
7. wake up early the next morning, pouring all energy into the project again, fixing bugs, and ‘making it pretty’
8. finishing the project mid afternoon on that second day

It’s quite funny actually, I have gotten better at #3 tho, I sometimes laugh at myself now when I get to this point… hehe

So I was at Eckerd’s Pharmacy on new years eve to get some soda and chips for the party, and the woman at the counter that is always there when I go asked me if I was ever going to submit my application. This surprised me because last I knew they were already hiring someone and submitting mine would only do me good if that person “didn’t work out” … so I sorta told her that it turns out we might be moving soon so I wasn’t sure I needed a job anymore. She was all sad and said “awww, that’s terrible! We need an assistant manager, and I told my boss I knew someone who would be perfect for the job, you!” … Gah! Assistant Manager? That must pay better than just a normal clerk, but there was a line at the store and I
really think we are going to move within the year, so I didn’t ask how much it was. *shrugs* why do jobs like this come around right before I move? I won’t be too quick to call it a curse because I DO move quite often ;)

Ok, I am going to go try to get something done today.. *wanders off*

Got so drunk last night, *everything hurts now*. Lan party awsome, we played lots of Unreal Tournament 2003 %) YAY!! My friend Nita and I made strawberry daquari mix + vodka slushies, they rocked. I ate lots of junk food too, hehe. We have pictures of the party on our digital camera, I’ll post them tomorrow probably, once we get the pictures uploaded to my site. Anyway, I am going to go back to bed for a little bit, need to give advil time to work, hehe. *winces as she reaches up to click the submit button then wanders off*

We’re going to a lan party this evening… it should be a nice New Years %)

The lan party is going to be great, usually we go to this couple’s house and since they have dial up it’s not online, and that’s fine, we have plenty of fun. But this one is at a friend’s house who has a T1 %o … so we’ll be online with a T1 AND he is going to borrow some cisco switches so we can have a fiber lan, YAY!!!! It’s going to be so nice. And it looks like about 10 or so people will be showing up at least, yay! Anyway, i gotta go take a shower and head out to the store to pick up snackfoods for the party… *wanders off*

o/` Patrick Doyle – The Price Of Success o/`

I actually did get some work done today despite my earlier post %) When I made that I was tired and thinking about wandering off to read with nothing but my email being checked and some chatting done to constitute as my daily acomplishments. Eventually I came back tho, and typed up a couple book review to start:

Coldfire Trilogy Book 2: When True Night Falls, By C.S. Friedman, 617 pages
This book is the sequel to Black Sun Rising and continues the crusade to save the world from the evil taking over. The characters this time are across the ocean on a continent uncharted and basically unknown of by their home. Their adventure against the fae-borne evils in this book are exciting and clever. The last 100 pages or so really bring this book together and make the whole book worth reading, as it takes the reader on a rollar coaster of emotion, revelation, and excitement. Again I am impressed with Friedman’s blend of science fiction with fantasy. I was much more impressed with this book than the predecessor, and I’m glad I kept reading this series.

Snow Crash, By Neal Stephenson, 448 pages
I first heard about this book a couple years ago, and it interested me, but I never really had the time to read it until recently. Often compared to William Gibson’s Neuromancer, this book takes a look at what the futuristic Internet might look like. The Metaverse, world of 3d, reproduced in front of your eyes, a world you can become lost in, and as the book tells, a world you can become hurt in. It’s the tale of Hiro Protagonist, and his efforts to deify himself and save the Metaverse from “Snow Crash” a virus that infects a ‘hacker’ and causes real physical harm. This exciting book takes place in fragments, between several characters and in the real world and the Metaverse, and explores a cult, some ancient Sumerian history, and paints a picture of a society ruled not by laws and countries, but by corporations. Even if you are not into “cyber-type” novels, there is really something for everyone in this book. I loved it.

1984, By George Orwell, 267 pages
This was my third time reading this book, and it was as good as I remembered. It tells of a future where the government has complete control over it’s civilians, primarily through around-the-clock survelence. Every word you say, movement you make, expression you show can be watched, and scrutinized. This book tells of two rebels, Smith and Julia who vaguely think they can cheat the system, but quickly learn how futile it is. But the plot is really secondary to the message, and warning, of this book. The message makes this book a nightmare, more scary than a Stephen King novel, and what makes this book so wonderful. When the government has complete control, your thoughts, your feelings, your soul, is not your own. Humanity as we known it today ceases to exist. If you haven’t read this book than you must, it is vital for our time, and an absolute classic.

I actually was feeling VERY lazy, since I had read 3 books since I last wrote a review, then looking back I realized it had only been 12 days, hehee…

After writing that short blog about the possibility of cutting my hair, that *very night* before I said anything to Myk, as if as an omen, this occured in #13thHour:

* Rubicant looks at Time….Has she cut her hair?
-@PartyTime- PrincessLeia2003 has always had long long long hair.
-@PartyTime- 8)
-@PartyTime- I like it.

(we have our new years nicks on, so PrincessLeia2003 is me, and Myk is PartyTime… of course)

Hmm, so maybe I wont cut my hair, I think still consider it tho.

In addition to finally getting those reviews typed up I also … don’t be shocked! Actually did a bit of work on the Recipe section of my site, YAY! … it’s even almost ready to be shown to the world, hehe.

I spoke to my Granddad this afternoon (my father’s father) .. I gave him my phone number with the Christmas Card I sent them, it was nice hearing from my grandparents, I have been a very bad granddaughter, hadn’t spoken to them in over 3 years. He wasn’t upset, just glad to hear from me finally, which is good, since I was paranoid about the phone call. Him and my grandma seem to be doing well tho, and they want to see me (of course) “we’ll buy you a round trip airline ticket!” … i might take them up on that offer in a couple months actually, heh.

Anyway, I am gonna go noew, prolly go make some dinner ’cause I’m hungry *wanders off*

i am so lazy

*Thinks about writing a long rambling entry*

*laughs and goes back to her nice warm bed*