o/` Frank Sinatra – Mistletoe and Holly o/`

Myk has off until January 2nd, YAY!!! It should be a really nice week %)

Well, my ignoring irc and focusing on scripting yesterday paid off and I actually got some work done! Done, as in… I now have an irssi bot that can search a mysql database for information and return it, I even have a userlist it can go by for restricted access, YAY!!!!!!!!! I thought early on that I wouldnt be able to do it, Perl is difficult, but in the end I suceeded, you can see the script here:

emaildb 1.0

I even went ahead and submitted it to irssi.org … we’ll see if they take it or not, and while I was at it I also cleaned up r2d2’s !gimmie script and submitted that as well (gimmie 1.0)

So I had a good day yesterday %)

Got a few xmas cards too… one from my penpal in England, one from my Grandparents, and one from my mother… it was nice of them, grandparents sent a check for $100 like usual (YAY!), mom sent me a gift certificate to barnes and noble, YAY! And I actually sent xmas cards to all of them too, so I dont feel guilty, hehe.

Finished When True Night Falls last night, it was much better than the previous book in the series… I’ll type up the review later. I got a couple pages into Snow Crash, slow beginning, but with it’s popularity I have no doubt that I will enjoy it.

Don’t really have plans for today, we might call a local place to get some wood delivered for the fireplace (have to have wood for xmas!) … and I think I’ll hold off til monday before making more cookies, I shouldnt have made them so early, should have known we’d eat them all/ give away them all by xmas… we have like 10 cookies left from the 9 dozen, heehee.

Anyway, I am gonna go get a couple things done, prolly will end up reading most of the day *wanders off*

o/` Desperatly_Wanting – Better Than Ezra o/`

I wish i could do a locate in physical things. I picked up my mess of a notebook today that I use to write down everything I need computer-wise, the silly thing is almost completely full, and the first thing I thought to do? locate password … hah! I need to get out more.

I am gonna really work with perl dbi today, if i have to close all my irc clients and kill everything else distracting me! Today is Myk’s last day of work for the year! He has off til jan 2nd, woohoo! And while he is home I have trouble getting work done, so I NEED to get something done today. And as it is already 11:30 (did the weekly cleaning of the apartment this morning) i should get going. *no more writing in weblog* hehe.

*wanders off*

o/` Fisher – I Will Love You o/`

Yesterday, moving to Florida was a dim possibility in the world of places we could move to. Today it’s much more likely to happen. Apparently they really want him to work down there, and since it’s the same company there is pretty much no question that they’d pay him more for moving, so “if the price is right” we’ll be packing our bags for the sunshine state. So I wrote up a quick list of pros and cons, I am sure there is much more I can be optimistic or pessimistic about but these are ones I just thought up:

Ok, the “voting” is a bit of a joke %P But the rest is pretty serious, notice amusement parks are good and bad… hehe, and I figure Myk is pretty much guaranteed a nice job ’cause if it doesnt work out with his current company, there is their competition down there that would probably be happy to hire him.

Of course I don’t know yet if I am moving so maybe I am getting a bit ahead of myself.

I was in bed all day yesterday, no fun. I actually slept a great deal (which is odd, I only sleep a lot of I am sick), and got some reading done. That’s about it %)

Myk’s xmas gifts should be arriving via UPS today (yay online tracking numbers!), I’m excited.. and I seem to have forgotten to pick up wrapping paper, doh! So I got some xmas clipart and printed out a couple pages of pretty xmas’ness so I could wrap them in that, hehe. And of course my printer was being crankie, first it made this grind-then-pop noise that I have never heard before. So I opened it up and looked inside, nothing *looked* wrong, but now when I go to print it pulls up like 3 pieces of paper at a time, stupid thing! I mean it is 4 years old.. but still…

I finally got the christmas cards sent out, I think all of them will probably get where they need to get on time, ‘cept for the out of the country ones, oops, I plan badly… I am gonna play with perl dbi a bit again today, hopefully be able to find summore online documentation, hmm, yep *wanders off*

Twilight is a complex, often misunderstood individual. A shy pony, she can come across as rather serious, a bit of a loner, even mysterious. She is a soft-spoken, introspective pony with a large romantic streak. When her ideals are threatened, she withdraws in order to preserve her rose- tinted view of the world. She likes to help out but often lets someone else take the credit. If only the other ponies knew just what mischief she gets up to!

o/` The Cure – Secrets o/`

Yuck, I went to bed last night not feeling very good, and I woke up with an upset stomach this morning, yuck.. I feel really awful, but I had to come online so I could talk about day yesterday, hehe.

You see, I’m cursed.

I am not sure who or what put this curse on me, but it’s real, I swear. See, I got my drivers license back in late January of 2000, in Maine. In early Febuary I moved to New York, so I only actually lived in Maine for a total of about 8 days with my new license. In New York I never got around to switching it over to an NY license, mostly because I was living with my ex for most of the time and EVERYTIME I managed to save up the $30 to get it done, I would consider breaking up with him and moving back to Maine. By the time the breaking up mood passed I wouldn’t have the money anymore, this cycle went on for the 2 years I was there… kept thinking that as soon as I got my license I’d just end up moving and need a new one. Eventually I decided to move to PA to be with Myk, I moved here a year ago yesterday. Now in PA the under 21 license is different from the normal licenses, and I didnt want to go get my under 21 license then have to go back and get the new one in a couple months, that’d be silly! I waited until my 21st birthday, and of course a couple months have passed, until I decided that I really did have the intention of settling down here and I should finally break down and get my license.

A friend of mine drove me to the DMV yesterday afternoon, and before I left, Myk mentioned in IRC that he might have to go to Florida for a few days in January to fix some things on test equipment down there (at another branch of the company he works for). So this was on my mind as I left. We get to the DMV and I get the stuff filled out that I need. Then got in line (very short line, it was nice, an altogether pleasant experience). Finally make it to the counter, the guy filling out the rest of the forms and typing up the stuff was pretty funny, muttering about how “no one ever leaves maine!” then went to tell me all about how he is looking to buy a place up there, the whole history of each time he’s thought of buying a place up there, and the life story of a woman he knows in Portland. Finally, I pay and we get the form we need to take so I can get my picture taken. While walking over to the picture taking room I say to Nita “see, now that I have my PA license, Myk is going to come back from Florida next month and say we have to move there.” We both laughed. I shouldn’t joke about such things!

We ended up going to a few stores, I got the giftcards for my sisters… then we were both sorta bored and wanted to hang out so Nita suggested we go to a bowling alley. Sure, why not, I hadnt bowled in years. So we went, I did terrible of course, and noticed how bad my wrists are getting, damn keyboards! Er… hehe. After that we were driving back to my apartment and we stopped at a used bookstore (yay!) I bought some books (dune messiah, a book from an orson scott card series, 3 terry pratchett books and a harry turtledove book). Finally I get home around 6. Myk was home since he’s been going into work early and getting out early, so I get all my stuff put down and put away then wander into the computer room and we talk for a few minutes, then he goes “oh, you had left for the DMV by the time you saw the message I left for you in IRC, I got offered a job in Florida.” My jaw just about hit the floor. Apparently they might want him to go down there to do basically the same job he is doing here, they need help down there and would rather hire from within the company… GAH!! See? CURSE! I *knew* it, I even JOKED about something like this! They’d pay him more, and the cost of living really is lower down there… but Florida?! I once said I never wanted to move further south than PA… I dunno, I will go wherever we need to go for Myk’s job, but .. Florida? *sigh* It wouldnt be terrible I suppose, I mean there is ocean down there, and not every square foot of FL is crawling with tourists and old people, right? RIGHT? Hehe.

So that was my day yesterday… Today unfortunately will be much less eventful because I feel terrible, in fact, I am going back to bed.

o/` Alanis Morissette – Your Congratulations o/`

Well I finally got around to typing up those book reviews:

Armor, By John Steakley, 426 pages
This science fiction book tells of a man named Felix. Felix is a carefree (as in he is free of cares…) soldier in a galactic fleet and by a cruel twist of fate, he is thrust into inhuman conditions of battle. But Felix is not what he seems. The structure of this book is a bit confusing at first, but by the end, when everything comes together, it’s really amazing. I guess my only problem with this book was that it contained a few lengthy battle-scenes that really don’t interest me. As far as the story goes however, and the way it was written, as a whole, the book was very very good.

Wheel Of Time: Book Eight – The Path Of Daggers, By Robert Jordan, 685 pages
The Wheel Of Time continues to turn in this 8th book in the series. As each book in this series reveals more of the story it becomes more complicated, and this is very clear here. It gets slow in certain parts because of how complicated it is, but Jordan does an excellent job of reminding the reader exactly what is happening without being overly redundant. The fate of Mat is unfortunately barely made reference to, much like book 6’s absence of Perrin. But much is discovered about the Sea Folk’s wishes (and ‘bargains’), and much more is explored (and mode questions raised) about Rand’s sanity. And again we are forced to notice how Rand has changed since leaving the relative safety of Emond’s Field. Also, the paranoia that Rand and a few of the others over Darkfriends and traitors is strengthened through more betrayal, while at the same time the characters must trust a few people, a very delicate balance. This book is a wonderful addition to the series.

Griffin and Sabine, By Nick Bantock, 48 pages
I first discovered this book while taking an Illustration and Design class in high school. It’s a series of post cards and letters between a male artist in England ad the exotic Sabine from a small tropical island, but by the end of the book you are forced to ask yourself if it was all that it seemed. The main draw of this book was not the story, but the format. The letters and postcards are actually “written” and you can take out the letters that are actually folded inside envelops within the pages of the book. As interesting as the correspondence between these two is, it’s really a lot of fun to open the letters and read them. I really love this book, and commend it’s originality.

I had a really weird dream last night… I have been having a lot of weird dreams lately (er, remembering a lot of dreams lately, I probably always have weird dreams). Last night tops it tho. I was at one of those governer election parties… I assume this comes from watching election episode of the West Wing or something… and while I was there I ended up in a back room with my friend Pete from Rochester, NY, and we did some heroine. GAH! I was thinking about Pete yesterday, because I have to email him soon since I havent in a couple months… and he IS the only person I’ve ever done any sort of “illegal substance” with… and I just watched Trainspotting monday night. So I know where all the parts of the dream came from, but it was just weird! I’d never do intense drugs like heroine! And at a winning election party!? Did I mention that Hilary Clinton was there and she was a real bitch? Hehee… Strange strange dreams.

Speaking of dreams, I often remember nightmares more often than dreams, and I discovered a few things that I am VERY afraid of through these dreams. First and foremost, the nightmares that make me wake up crying always have to do with the demise of my youngest sister Annette. For some reason I feel some need to still protect her, I mean we were always very close, at one point she called me “Bethy Mommy” because I was around so much more often than my mother was. Well in all these dreams it’s somehow my fault that she dies, in one I slowed down to talk to a friend while we were riding our bikes and Annette was hit by a car… in another she was kidnapped and later found dead in the woods after I was doing some laundry instead of watching her play outside. I guess these are the sorts of dreams paranoid parents have %) But it’s always Annette, and it always HURTS terribly even after I wake up, and I feel the need to email her or msg her just to see how she is. Another common nightmare is losing Myk, wheter through death, or me doing something wrong and making him leave me, and sometimes even a misunderstanding that makes him leave me… And another common “feature” of some of my nightmares is my ex being a scary dominent figure, like when I was dating him… being helpless again like when we dated, and in these nightmares he is always this super-evil character, much moreso than he was in reality… like I pile all the abuse and put-downs of my life into him and create this terrible monster in my dreams. In the strange random scary dreams there are other things too, like birds, I have a phobia of birds that has only gotten worse as I’ve grown older, to the point of actually jumping when I hear wings flapping in a tree nearby… cringing when geese fly close over head… and many of my nightmares have an Aphex Twin soundtrack %) The Girl-Boy Song by Aphex Twin is a wonderful example of the type of the type of music in my nightmares, and I can’t even listen to that song anymore ’cause it *scares* me.

Next! So I’ve been exposed to a great deal of ‘abnormal’ sexuality lately. Not my own or Myk’s! But friends… and although I still love and accept these people, I can’t help but wonder what is causing all this diverse sexuality… maybe it’s always been around and it just wasn’t brought to my attention until recently? This one sorta new friend of mine just recently decided that he wants to be a woman, or at least “see how it feels” … I’ve been talking to him about it, trying to offer advice where I can (unfortunately, my lack of ‘girlyness’ is brought into the forefront in situations like this). Anyway, I’m completely supportive and I understand than when you are younger you want to experiment, as strange as what you want to do is to some people. All I care about is him being happy… but even he has questioned WHY he feels this way… Then there is “polyamory” … basically ‘poly’ is where you “love more than one” .. emotionally, spiritually, and physically. What does this mean? You can have multiple boyfriends/girlfriends, and, well, use your imagination %) or go to polyamory.org and read the FAQs. Now I have heard about this before, but we actually have a few friends who are into this “lifestyle” … I guess I can’t understand such a living because I am VERY jealous at times, an could NEVER be involved with someone when I knew I was not their “only one” … So why all this abnormal sexuality? I assume people have always felt these sorts of things but it’s never been as ‘socially acceptable’ as it is now, I mean people arent as afraid to be open about these things as they would have 40, 20, even 10 years ago… And as much as I am a net freak, I really think that was a big part of this openness. Anyway, just for the record I AM NORMAL … one guy + one girl + no kink = i’m happy … then again with all this freedom maybe that makes me the abnormal one?

Moving on… I went out and did some grocery shopping last night, fun! Gah, I hate grocery shopping. But I was able to pick up some christmas cards since I have been lazy and havent done that yet. After shopping I came home and told Myk that we were gonna send out Christmas cards ane he laughed. I guess in his entire life he has never really cared enough to do something like send Christmas cards to anyone, so this was a whole new thing for him, which is actually kinda funny… but he IS a guy ;) Anyway, he said his parents are going to think he’s on drugs again ’cause this is so out of character for him.. he’s like “they’ll see the card, think I’m on drugs, then see that you signed it too and say ‘ah, lyz'” … It’s sorta funny, he told me that I am the most “stable” woman he’s ever lived with… That made me feel good %) So I got him to sign all the cards to my family n stuff, I made a couple up to send to friends, and bugged him until he finally wrote some to his parents and grandmother, hehee.

Oh and just for the record, I never did do anything after posting yesterday, besides grocery shopping, the day was a waste yay! We did get the database fixed tho, so my guestbook is back up yay. Anyway, today I am actually going to get my PA License! After all this time of having a Maine license, and it’s been almost 3 years since I lived in Maine “oops” Wow, I’ve had my license for almost 3 years. Well now that I seem somewhat settled *knocks on wood* it’s a good time to finally change my license. The same friend I went out with last week to the mall is going to come by around 1 to pick me up so we can go to the DMV (so Myk doesnt have to take off work to take me)… I guess we’re going to try to head up to a few stores too and get some christmas shopping done, I still need to get the giftcards for my sisters, and I’ll try to send them out with the cards tomorrow. So it should be a nice day %)

Unfortunately I am in a very pessimistic mood. I just finished a conversation with this stupid 19 year old kid who thinks he’s an outcast. He has a girlfriend, he has a job, he’s in college, and yet, “no one understands him” … Now i think the problem with people like him, and ALL teenagers really, is they grow up *convinced* they are special and unique, and so they FEEL like their feelings are different than everyone else’s. So when they hear that Korn song on the radio (oh, is my music reference dated?), they feel like it’s speaking to them.. without considering the number of people who think that song was “written just for them” … I realize I have addressed this subject before, but this kid was just SO SURE that ‘preps’ are soulless assholes, it was pointless trying to explain to him that they are human too and despite what he THINKS about them. Oh well, hopefully he will eventually grow up and realize he is not a special and unique snowflake, he’s just like everyone else, and you need to just move on. YAY PESSIMISM! I will die young.

Anyway, enough of this *wanders off*

o/` Miranda Sex Garden – Without Trace o/`

I HATE Mondays. The weekends are nice, but monday comes and I get all lonely and cant seem to focus, it’s so evil %( So to try to get my mind off my hatred of today I started putting together a #13thHour History. I have logs since the beginning of the room, of course I generally chatted every other day (my sister, Heather, and I had to switch off days on the computer), so they are only logs of while I was around in chat, but failry complete none the less. SO I went through logs from December til June of 1999 … it’s A LOT of logs, heh. They bring back all sorts of good memories, and looking back on them it’s so strange how I didnt see certain patterns emerging, like how close Time, plas, and I always were, I dont think I had ever had friends that were close like that before. And how Exeplis and I certainly were not compatible! How could I have thought I could spend my life with someone who was obviously less intelligent than myself? Not to put him down or anything, he just couldnt keep up with the learning I was doing, had no desire for learning, and in retrospect that is what really made me realize things wouldnt work out. I noticed that I chatted with a few people fairly early on that I didn’t realize had come to the channel that early in it’s history… and of course found all sorts of sections where we said really silly things… some quite ‘epic’ now, like this:

-Time- ouch, pins and nerls
-PrincessLeia2- nerls?
-Time³- needles
-PrincessLeia2- hehehehehe
-Time³- lol
-Time³- NEEDLES!
-PrincessLeia2- nerls
-Time³- NEEDLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

..Myk and I *still* say ‘pins and nerls’ instead of pins and needles because of this silly typo.

Anyway, I do have some good news, as it quite obvious (you can see my pic of the weblog now) my webpages are back up.. for the moment. Unfortunately all our issues with mysql are not resolved, so I had to just disable my guestbook… hopefully soon everything will be back up and running nicely %)

Last night I was feeling fairly bored. Our friend Barry called us and said he was going to be in the area and that he could meet us somewhere so we could pick up our copy of Battlefield 1942 that we accidentally left at his house during the last lan party. So I drove up to the store where he was (a Giant grocery store) and picked that up… was going to get some turkey for sandwiches while I was there, but then saw the line for the meat counter had about 10 people in it, and so I’d prolly be there for 45 minutes waiting for the stupid turkey! Plus the half hour I’d spend in line for the checkout, that place is so friggin busy %(

So I came home and looked in the fridge and realized we didnt have much food, so I turned around and went back out, to a pizza place nearby, pick ed up a chicken cheese steak for Myk, a turky sub for myself, and some french fries… also stopped at Blockbuster and picked up Trainspotting ’cause Myk had never seen it. It turned out to be a really nice evening… I even got a chance to read a bit before going to bed.

I think I am going to go try to get something done, so at least I can’t say today has been a *total* waste. *wanders off*

o/` Audiovent – The Energy o/`

Yesterday was pretty boring… good though, relaxing days are nice %) Got up and chatted a bit in the morning, booted into windows and went to a “meeting” for Syntech. Turns out only one other person showed up, a guy from Germany who is working on a MUD (the only person, might I add, who is working on anything), unfortunately his MUD is mostly in German, heh. It was ok tho.. I think if things don’t start happening with this ‘company’ I’ll just stop wasting my time on it, it’s really ashame, it looked good on ‘paper’ *shrugs*

I was able to finish The Path Of Daggers yesterday afternoon, wrote up a review, but I am pretty behind on *all* reviews right now, I will probably post the 3 I have tomorrow or something… I started reading When True Night Falls, the sequel to Black Sun Rising, already I’m impressed, seems quite good.

I made a yummie dinner last night, chicken parmesean, spaghetti, and salad … hey maybe I am sorta getting the hang of this cooking thing, of course I have yet to make my own tomato sauce, still too scared for that, hehe, but someday!

I talked to my sister today, the 19 year old one in college, Heather… asked what she wanted to xmas, got the usual “i dunno” so I finally dragged out of her a store she would want a gift certificate to, Best Buy. I’ll prolly get her a $20 one or something… I’ll get my other sister a $20 to barnes and noble, at least that way I can *dream* that she is buying books, when I know she will actually spend it on a rap cd. She is so hopeless.

Yeah, my webpages are still down… figured that there was a problem when we reinstalled the box with Debian stable instead of testing, messed up the DB files, *ugh* I can still extract the stuff so that all I’ll need to do is recreate the databases with the info in them (which isnt much), but it’s still a huge pain, especially when I am trying to show off my work… oh well, hopefully we will get the problem resolved today.

I think I am going to go back to bed… so sleepy (+ lazy).

Radiohead – Climbing Up The Walls

I’m not sure what made me so depressed yesterday… maybe it was something as silly as my webpages being down and I was in a vunerable mood. Myk came home yesterday evening after work tho, and I cheered up a lot, even if MySQL is being crankie and making it so my page is still down *sigh* … see we turned off apache and mysql ’cause we dont want some sort of security problem *shrugs* Hopefully it can be fixed this weekend.

We had beer last night… I guess I just had a bad day yesterday and wanted to finish it off by getting drunk %) So when Myk got home I went out to the grocery store and picked up some eggnog and port wine cheese (great for munchies!), and then headed up to the beer store to get some Rouge Dead Guy Ale… The guy at the counter is there everytime I go and he recongnised me, I mean granted, I guess not too many chicks with Maine licenses come in there and buy that beer (i give him my license even before he asks for it.. i know i look young, hehe), but when the guy at the beer store starts to know you just 2 months after your 21st birthday does that mean you have a problem? Heehee

I started playing with Perl DBD::mysql yesterday afternoon, didnt get too far, but the online documentation for it really sucks %( I might actually have to buy a book! NO!!!! hehe… it’s fun stuff tho, hopefully I can figure out summore today if I get a chance.

I got into contact with the main guy from Syntech Studio, the place I am sorta volunteering at. It is really seeming like it is a project that this guy is trying hard to get off the ground but people just arent doing anything. Plus, the chat client he has set up is in flash… sure, I have flash plugins, but it’s the icky evil windows only flash; see, I think flash has very loose standards especially on .swf files, so it’s easy to make flash things that just dont work in linux (like the flash animations on my website actually *sigh*). So I’ll have to boot into windows for a ‘meeting’ today at 1.

I’ve been chatting in another room on psiblade.net lately… #Linux. It’s basically a few newbies from the room #DarkTower that decided to try and use linux. I feel so smart there, haha! Anyway, it’s kinda cool helping these guys out when they need it, and they are people who came from the scifi server that I never really chatted with before this, and it’s nice to meet new people on irc. Of course the conversation never stays on linux, and one of the guys asked if I played Diablo 2… said they wanted to play sometime, so I guess I’ll go into windows anyway and install that, and create a battle.net character, have it up a couple levels by the time we get around to playing together, hehe.

Yeah… *wanders off*