System Of A Down – Spiders

Wow, that long entry I wrote yesterday was all over the place and not making sense, hehee. We never ended up going out for pizza last night, we ended up getting up too late and so by then it was already 5 … tons of traffic and it was raining. Instead we ordered some Indian food and I went to go pick it up, yummie! Then we started a fire in the fireplace and carved pumpkins. I hadn’t carved pumpkins in years! It was fun we have pictures %)

This is me starting to carve my pumpkin, and Myk carving his.


This is a picture of when the pumpkins are all finished.

For more piccys go here:Pumpkin Carving Pics

Yep, so…

Happy Halloween!

and it’s also a friend of mine’s birthday today, not that he reads this…

Happy Birthday Brak!

Anyway… Halloween. I’ve had some interesting Halloween’s in the past few years. No pumpkin carving during any of those! 3 years ago I was still living at home, I ended up dressing up as a witch and handing out halloween candy, I also spent quite a lot of time on the phone with my boyfriend at the time, so it turned out to be a decent night.


Me and my little sis dressed up for halloween ’99

2 years ago we were getting kicked out of our apartment.. I was living in Seneca Falls and one of my 4 roommates had a dog. The jackass of a land lord (he was SERIOUSLY the land lord from hell) told my roommate to get rid of the dog or we had to leave… needless to say my friend wouldnt get rid of the dog, since he argued that it was a “small animal” and thus allowed by the lease, it was a medium sized dog. Anyway we had by October 31st to move out, so all our halloween plans were pretty much ruined, luckily I made it quite clear that I had no intention of working that night… gas station overnight on halloween, not me thanks! Last year my ex and had had *planned* a few months in advance to have a huge party at our apartment… but alas I dumped him and moved out so those plans were changed.. and since he didnt have money to throw a party himself he ended up hanging out with friends… I was invited to this as well (living at my aunt’s at the time) and I considered going, but realized I really didn’t want to see my ex, later I found out that their party had turned into and acid fest and I dont think I would have liked to participate in that.. So I had my black cat, and I was dressed as a witch and I handed out candy with my Aunt Elaine and my cousin Chet. Then we went over to my Aunt Mary Ellen’s house for a little happy birthday celebration for my Uncle Sean (another halloween birthday), it was fun, we ate cake. Then after I went into chat for a few hours, played my halloween themed mp3s, chatted with friends, and had a fun time. This year we’re just going to stay home and hand out candy, like old people, LOL. There is a club near here called Shampoo, that has a pretty famous “Dracula’s Ball” every year we considered going, but it’ll be really busy, and I guess I really dont have anything to wear to a vampire club halloween celebration, hehe.
I guess that’s it for now… *wanders off*

Hehe this is especially funny since i dont have a job, i like my life and the whole past year has been a break… of course the quiz assumed I had a job so I answered like I did… and I did hate it, hehehehee


What Office Space character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Tool – Parabola

I love sleep. Unfortunately I now have trouble sleeping in an irregular schedule, maybe it’s part of getting old? Hehe. I went to bed around 3 last night, woke up again today around 9:30 and couldnt go back to sleep, I could take a nap later, bleh.

We’re gonna go out for pizza later, Joseph’s Pizza in Philadelphia %d we havent gone in a couple months (since we got crappy service) and I really miss that three cheese spinach pizza! We’ll probably have a fire in the fireplace tonight and use up the last of the wood… and we’ll carve our pumpkins tonight.

We just got the tracking number on just the RAM coming from newegg… I don’t know why they won’t ship it all together, but it’s pretty obvious that it’s not going to come this week %( I told Myk when it does come *hopefully* next week that we should just wait til the weekend to put everything together, so I’m not helplessly without a computer at any time during the week, and Myk will be stressed out ’cause the week back to work will be insanely busy, I dont want him to have to be stressed out about putting together a crankie computer. Anyway it is disappointing that we won’t be getting it this week.

So last night I sat down to start reading The Outline of History, Volume II and I open it up and it starts telling me history of around 800 AD. The Volume I copy I have ends around 200 BC, I am missing a millennium!!! The birth of Christ, the rise and fall of the Roman Empire, and countless other very important events. This is most of the very important stuff I wanted to read about! ARG! I assumed, despite the difference in publishing dates, they would remain mostly consistent with the volume numbers. Bleh, it sucks. So I put that book down and picked up Book 7 of Robert Jordan’s Wheel of Time series and started reading it.

So I was reading Leslie2003‘s weblog, and she ranted about something I fully agree with, I left a comment but decided to continue my rant here instead of there, hehe. Some person in a class of hers is doing an article on the “Spongbob Squarepants Craze”. This opened up an interesting rant about teenagers currently having obsessions with cartoons, and how Hot Topic (supposedly a ‘goth’ store) is carrying all sorts of cartoon related merchandise. I remember the first time I saw huge posters and displays in Hot Topic about spongbob squarepants, I was quite upset ’cause I was going in there to check out some of their uber goth black dresses for Halloween. A month before Halloween and the ‘goth’ store is advertising some bad Nickelodeon cartoon?! I’d think they’d be having a 3 month Halloween celebration! But no, they have bright white and yellow cardboard cutouts filling up their windows. It was too much.

So this leads me to the REAL rant I want to make. I hate posers. The renewed interest in old cartoons, and new bad cartoons (the new cartoons craze no doubt spurred on completely by Marketing, like Leslie said), is the perfect example of people taking something that at 11 they forsook as “childish” and “not cool” and embracing it because it’s cool again. Now of course they will say “oh, I liked it all along, I was just embarrassed by it, teehee” right, you have your private stock of Rainbow Brite movies in your closet? “of course not” WELL SOME OF US REALLY DO. When I was in high school (oh years and years ago, haha) it was cool to have Winnie the Pooh stuff, and a lot of the people I knew did, but I didn’t, Winnie the Pooh was alright but I could never have called myself a fan. I was insanely crazy about Disney. Disney clothes, Disney bed sheets, Disney binders and folders and pencils, my whole bedroom was a Disney black hole. And did I do this because I thought it was cool? Did I venture out to the theater to see EVERY full length animated feature that came out for Disney on opening day (or before that if i could get advanced tickets) purely for social gain? Absolutely not! I am sure people looked at me funny because of my strange obsession, and I really didn’t care. I wasn’t about to go hiding my interests because they weren’t cool anymore. I never hit that “teenager stage” where I got rid of all my old kid stuff and decided to grow up because it wasnt cool anymore. I played with My Little Ponies through the 8th grade! I had a whole ‘town’ of stuffed animals that played with all through high school, I STILL have a Lion King comforter on my bed. And that quite possibly makes me crazy, but at least I’m a very happy crazy person, the same of which cannot be said about a lot of people. The people who sadly chose to hide their true loves for the sake of “being cool”.

Now this brings me to saying how wonderful Myk is %) One of my mother’s bit of wisdom she ever gave me that was worth anything was telling me that when I find someone to spend the rest of my life with, they must allow me to keep my child’s heart, and accept all my eccentricities, or else I will never be happy. Now this may seem obvious, but I was very unpopular in high school, and didn’t start dating really until very late in my senior year, and even then it was online relationships. I had this great fear of rejection, so in one very long relationship (the really crappy one before Myk, where I lived in NY and worked at a gas station to support us) I was forced to keep my stuffed animals in a closet and my Disney movies shoved in the back of the video cabinet. Why after all this time spent in high school not caring did I finally push this all away? Because I finally had someone who “loved” me laughing in my face about it all and I thought for a moment that maybe he was right and I needed to push these things away to grow up. What a fool I was! I was miserable! When I started dating Myk I realized that I NEVER wanted to be in such a situation again, so right away I told him how I slept with stuffed animals, and yes there was a cow pillow on my bed and how much I loved the Disney posters around my room. He thought it was all fine. And when I moved here with him I had a garbage bag full of stuffed animals that I just put in the closet.. and then one day I came out of the computer room to see what Myk was doing in our bedroom and I found he was taking them all out of the bag and putting them around the room, I almost cried, I was so happy. So from a rant to how wonderful it is to be in a relationship where the person loves you so much that they let you get away with all your strangeness, yay tangents!

So before I get carried away (ahahhaa) I guess I’ll go.. it’s freaking cold in here, we havent turned the heat on this year yet, I can take it! Hehe… it’s only 40 degrees outside, and in here it still must be at least 60. Bed is so warm… going back now…

Bladerunner Soundtrack

I finished a couple books tonight:

The Outline of History, Volume I – Ancient History, By HG Wells, 412 pages

I started reading this book when I realized that my knowledge of the whole of world history was quite lacking. It was written around 1920, revised in 1930, revised again in 1940 (and after that, but not by Wells himself), the copy I have was published in 1940. It’s obviously a generally European-centric view of history, and since this records history from the “beginning of time” it does have a few facts out of place, but generally I learned to take that with a grain of salt. It did try to gather some Asian history, although at the time of writing a lot of that history was still closed off to the western world. Still it did give me quite a good outline for reference. And since it was written by Wells it was not as dry and boring as most historical accounts. I really did enjoy this, and read it slowly, over the course of several months along with other books, to get a firm grasp on the information, so I’d remembered more. I would recommend this book to anyone looking to further their basic knowledge of ancient history.

Treasure Box, By Orson Scott Card, 372 pages

If someone had told me what this book was about prior to my reading it I probably never would have. I’m glad they didn’t, I couldn’t put it down, keep this in mind. It tells the strange tale of a millionaire former computer programmer who in his mid 30s realizes he is alone and his life unfulfilled. He finds the perfect woman at a dinner party and before they know much about each other are happily married. Everything goes well for about a year, until he goes to meet her family, from there the book takes a turn for the extraordinary. The last half of the book deals with witches, a ‘beast’, the discovery of a powerful succubus, and of course the never-ending battle between good and evil. Sounds cheesy right? No, Card has an amazing talent for making the main character endearing to the reader, so when you read this book you ARE this character and you feel what he is feeling, you can understand the emotions of this character and how he is simply a pawn in his formally normal life that has been transformed into a nightmare. Even the ending, though moderately abrupt, ties off loose ends and leaves the reader feeling satisfied. I loved this book, I put off doing things so I could finish it in just under three days, I’ll definitely be reading it again sometime.

After reading about this quiz in sevenoverzero‘s weblog I just HAD to take it of course, hehe… even if it does encourage society’s labeling system, I do realize that I this is all quite silly.

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Low
Schizoid:	Low
Schizotypal:	Moderate
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	Moderate
Narcissistic:	Low
Avoidant:	High
Dependent:	Low
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Low
— Click Here To Take The Test —

Fisher – February 1994

Yesterday we went out and did a few errands. Of course since we can’t seem to get out of the house (unless it’s an important appointment) before 5 we ended up leaving around 5:30 and hitting all sorts of crazy traffic. We wanted to go out to Hatboro Beverage and get some Lindenmen’s Kriek (cherry lambic, $110 for a case of 24 12oz bottles.. so only for special times, like vacation!), needed to go to staples to get some cd-r’s (there was a sale on them, $40 with a $20 rebate for 100.. we usually dont like staples), and needed to get a couple pumpkins. Easy right? HAH! It took about 2 hours, the traffic was insane, at one point we got in a HUGE line of traffic and it turns out there was an accident (we found out later, turned around to go a different route so we didnt have to wait)… So finally we get home and realize that we didn’t get a corkscrew! Our previous one broke under extreme circumstances (it was crappy and cheap and we were opening a wine bottle with wax and a cork on it)… so we had to go out again. I guess it was around 8 when we closed the door and said “no more!” hehe… I made Boca Burgers for dinner, the yummie veggie burgers since we dont eat beef. And that was good, after we sat and watched an episode of mst3k and drank the yummie cherry lambic, and that is when I realized I am not sure if I could actually get drunk off it… it is quite sweet, and only 4% alcohol, I am not sure I could drink a lot of sweetness, but hey I have the rest of the week to find out %D

So I have a little review of Mort now:

Mort, By Terry Pratchett, 242 pages

The 4th book in the Discworld series, this book focuses on a character that has been spoken about and even present in a few of the previous books, Death. Death recruits a young boy named Mort to be an apprentice. Death leaves his job to the boy when he decides that he wants to have a taste of what it’s like to be a human. And inevitably the boy makes a mistake and starts to unravel the fabric of time! This story of love, adventure and Death is definitely one of the funniest yet, I really recommend it, even if you have not read the other books in the series.

Stonyfield Farm strawberry yogurt is yummie. I went grocery shopping yesterday before all our errands and I hadn’t had yogurt in a long time and realized I missed it. Stonyfield Farm yogurt is special too, for a couple reasons… 1. it’s all natural 2. it’s got a cute cow on the front 3. I met the guy who drew that cow and he lives in my hometown! Yeah, I was taking an intro to pc’s class my senior year in high school (i needed tech credits, and didnt want something challanging) and it was a good excuse to bring a famousish local artist into class. He uses a Mac, like most graphical artists, and besides doing the art for Stonyfield Farm he also did a great deal of graphical stuff for some Mac magazine… pretty cool, especially since my hometown is pretty small. *Finishes her cup of yogurt* so you should all get this yogurt ’cause it’s yummie and fat free, and all natural n stuff.

Wow, I just wrote a paragraph about yogurt.

I dunno what we’re going to do for the rest of the week. Probably just hang out here, I have a few books on my shelves that I still havent read… I’ll probably get Myk to take me up to the mountains or something later this week so we can look at all the pretty leaves, since in this area it seems the leaves just turn yellow and fall off the trees, very boring… I am so spoiled by New England’s beautiful foliage I guess.

Yeah, this entry has now come to a boring natural end.

Dishwalla – Counting Blue Cars

I am not sure why I felt so awful yesterday morning. Maybe I was tired from the lan party on saturday, maybe I was a little depressed after writing that letter to my father in rehab, maybe it was just a hormonal imbalance that makes me feel bad sometimes for no reason. I really don’t have anything to be depressed about, and I honestly hate it when I feel depressed. I don’t have to work, and I’m well taken care of. I have a beautiful apartment, a loving and nurturing boyfriend, I’m relatively healthy, and so is all my family. I just feel so selfish when I’m depressed, I have so much to be thankful for and it’s like I take it all for granted and get self pitiful for no reason. Maybe I really do have some sort of chemical imbalance that makes me feel this way… I mean most of my mother’s family IS on some sort of anti-depressants, and they say things like this run in families, I am just reluctant to medicate myself… but maybe it is the right thing to do? Or maybe I am just not feeling fulfilled enough, maybe I should just get a job, even if it is part time at a store or something, I think I need more social contact than I get. Maybe that’s my problem? I have a lot of very good friends online.. and I am friendly to all Myk’s good friends, but in real life I am desperately lonely for companionship outside the realms of the relationship I have with Myk. Thanks for the comments yesterday, it’s nice to know that there are people who care %) and I am feeling much better this morning.

Yesterday afternoon a friend of ours invited us to go to an amusement part with them. It was the last day of vacation for him and his girlfriend so they wanted to do something, and the evening special at the park seemed like a good idea to them, from 4 to 7:30 (when the park closes) you can get a $10 pass to go on rides you want. It would have been fun to see them, but by the time we spoke to her it was already 3 in the afternoon and we weren’t even dressed yet. It wouldn’t have been til about 5 that we’d get to the park, so it wouldn’t end up being worth it… Ended up just staying home. Around 7ish Myk suggested we head up to Exton (about 45 minutes away) and check out the The Drafting Room location there (the local one is the one we went to on my 21st bday)… turns out they have the raspberry lambic that I like *on tap* (the cherry is my fave, but the raspberry isn’t bad). So we went up there, got lost getting there of course, lol, both Myk and I are masters at getting lost of course %) Ended up almost in Delaware before we turned around, almost gave up, then saw the exit we needed to take. So it was about 9:30 before we got there… the food and the drinks were great, the raspberry lambic on tap was really impressive, I had one of those, then a bottle of the cherry… we stayed there for a while, even had a cappuccino before leaving, in all it was a really nice evening.

So we came home and I watched adult swim (it was around 11:30 that we finally got home). I wandered in to look at chat and the irc server was all *down* Apparently the network admins on the other 3 servers we are linked to decided that they NEEDED to change the name servers last night, whether Myk (the owner of the hub, and most powerful connection of them all) was there or not. So the just disconnected our server and made the changes they needed to, so last night while Myk wanted to relax he had to fix everything on the server so it would be up again. It was all quite rude on the part of the fellow admins, couldn’t they have waited til they were all there? Or if that was difficult at least EMAIL each other to say when the change would take place? Honestly it was quite ridiculous. Anyway it took a couple hours to straighten the whole mess out, during which I wandered off to read for a bit. I finished Mort yesterday… I’ll post a review when I get a chance to write up one. Started reading Orson Scott Card’s Treasure Box yesterday, and I’m already halfway through, its really quite good, I’m impressed… but then again I tend to like Card.

Ah so the lan party on saturday. It turned out to have a pretty good number of people, 10 I think in all…and unfortunately THAT was when I started feeling crappy. Depressed at a lan party! I love lan parties! I had been looking forward to this for over a month. And yet after 2 hours of Battlefield 1942 I was bored. They ended up playing it for 6 hours. I wasn’t about to ask them if we could play something else ’cause everyone was having so much fun, so I just hung out on the couch with one of the dogs and watched tv. I mean I did play some… and around midnight after they decided to finally stop playing BF1942 I got on and played some Warcraft 3. I mean I guess part of my problem was my computer doesnt even meet the minimum specs for the game, so sometimes it freezes up, and I have to systematically reboot every other map or so just to avoid that, it was getting annoying… but even when Myk offered to let me use his computer I didn’t want to play, ugh %( it sucked. It was nice seeing everyone tho, even if I was a supreme party pooper. Also got to meet a good friend of Myk’s that I had played UT with online, and chatted with before but never met. He was pretty funny.. made this comment when someone joked about spraying water in the house with all the computers around, “oh the computers don’t work after you let those sparks out” Heehee. I was laughing for almost 5 minutes. It was fun hanging out with people anyway, even if I was in a lousy mood, we even got pictures this time! %)

26th Of October LAN Party Pictures

I woke up at 6:30 this morning. I don’t know why, it wasn’t until after 2 that I went to bed last night, stupid insomnia! You know how sometimes you wake up and you start thinking of something that upsets you (possibly a dream reminded you of it) and you just start thinking about it so much that sleeping is impossible? That has happened to me a lot lately, and this morning is no exception. SO now its 9 am and I’m still awake, writing in my xanga journal, yay. I will probably go to sleep again after I write this, or at least try… and I’ll focus on thinking happy thoughts! I just need to think of happy things to think of so the stupid bad ones don’t keep invading. It’s going to be a bit difficult to fall asleep I think tho.. the people are outside doing yard work and it’s making my allergies act up… allergies in the end of October! bah!

Anyway, I did get an email this morning cheering me up. Another person emailing to tell me they like my site (princessleia.com) … this time they especially liked the Lyrics page, which is a bit embarrassing since I have really neglected that section lately. Anyway, it’s always nice getting emails from people about my site, it makes me feel like it’s all worth doing, since people go there and enjoy it… sometimes (usually when I am depressed and irrational) I feel like it’s all just a complete waste of time.

I guess I’ll go try to get more sleep now so I don’t end up crankie and tired later this evening. I think we’ll prolly go grocery shopping today, maybe head up to a nice beer shop later so we have nice beer to drink this week while Myk has off.. but in all probably a pretty mellow day, the way this whole week should be… *wanders off*

I’m in a really crappy mood.

Last night was nice. Myk has the week off now, so we decided to order in some yummie indian food %d Got a lot of reading done last night so I’m almost finished with Mort. Also watched Pi… I have it on DVD and it had been a while since I watched it. Ended up finally going to bed around 3ish.

Of course I woke up at like 9:30 this morning, stupid insomnia! We’re going to a LAN party this afternoon so I really wish I could have slept longer, ugh, maybe I’ll get another short nap in before we leave *shrugs*

We’re trying to make plans for thanksgiving… Myk doesnt really want to spend it with his family since we’ve been spending most holidays with them, so I am considering either going to NY, going to Maine, or having my Aunt Elaine and Chet down here for that weekend. I really wanna see my little sis, so we’re considering meeting my Aunt Elaine up in Maine at my ma’s or something… I dunno it’s still a month away, but seeing family would be nice, and nothing ever gets done unless we plan far ahead %)

I think I’ll go back to bed… *wanders off*

Tabitha’s Secret – Forever December

Cleaned apartment this morning, going to find a kewl enlightenment theme noew so my desktop is all pretty when I go to the lan party tomorrow, yay. %)