Well Myk fixed my net connection %) yay! So I can post this thing I wrote this morning:
Hooverphonic – Magenta

My connection is icky %( Stupid Comcast… When you are uploading something it just eats up SO much bandwidth. I was surfing the net at like dial up speeds for a while, but things seem to suck pretty bad noew %) *writes this in vim to copy it to xanga later*

So I have no net atm what is there to do? Write a huge xanga entry! Yesterday I spent doing nothing really… read more of Dune… surprisingly I’m already a little over halfway through it. I should be getting my new books in the mail any day now… Hopefully they will come before I finish Dune… If not there is always finishing rereading Return Of The King. I talk about books in my weblog, how dull. I watched Adult Swim last night too… funny stuff even though I’m not a big fan of The Oblongs, or Mission Hill, or Space Ghost Coast to Coast for that matter… Home Movies, Harvey Birdman, The Brak Show, Sealab 2021, and Aqua Teen Hunger Force are great tho %D I guess I watch all of adult swim only because I was drowsy all day (stupid Benadryl) and I probably would have fallen asleep if I kept reading (Adult Swim is on Cartoon Network at 10 on sunday…).

It’s September 9th. Now I know most of the country is getting all prepared for wednesday, and the whole “One Year Anniversary” of the September 11th Terrorist attacks, and that’s perfectly commendable. I tend to think of this time of year a bit differently. Last year on September 10th (as I am sure most of you know) I broke up with my ex-boyfriend, ending a 2 year emotionally abusive relationship that I *still* have dealing with. This was a huge step for me… I never had too much self-esteem, and when you are in a position such as I was you feel like you deserve the way you are being treated. It took a lot of strength for me to break out of that cycle, and I wasn’t sure I had that strength. I had all sorts of support from friends, and used all of them as a rope to pull me out of that situation. The attacks on the 11th only compounded my regret for pushing these very friends away a year before when my ex “told me to stop chatting on scifi”… I realized through the attacks how I could have lost any of them and never have forgiven myself, and how lucky I was. My family also stepped back into my life, as much as I had ignored them as well, right there waiting to help me out again because, after all, family is family. When I finally was out of the whole situation with my ex I realized I had a whole new respect for family and friends, and for myself… self respect is eternally important, and as I can still see my flaws, and my weaknesses better than anyone, I realize that dispite these things, I still deserve respect and REAL love… afterall no one is perfect.

That’s what this time of year will eternally mean for me I guess… a sort of rebirth of myself. It was at this time I came back to chat with all my old friends, got back into contact with my family, and renewed my love for everything computers. I had a new strength and feeling of self worth, and couldn’t believe that I survived without having it before. After leaving my ex I moved in with my aunt. I was already dating my long-time friend Myk by then, it was a long-distance relationship but I needed some time to resolve my ‘issues’ with my ex, a few months of freedom and continual self-discovery. Of course I wanted to take longer, but November rolled around, and Myk came up to see me and my family (aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents on my mothers side) for Thanksgiving, and everyone loved him, including me. And although I was cautious at first I finally admitted that I needed to be with him. I took a chance and in December last year I moved here to Philly. And of course everyone knows how good that has been going since I hardly shut up about it %P Anyway… yeah, this time of year is profound %)

So it looks like my net connection completely died. Not the net connection exactly, the gateway box still has a few bugs, and all the file upload must have made it get it’s frooze on. So no internet for me today. Gah… I wish I knew more about networking %) I might be able to fix this myself.. but Myk really is the one best suited for this all. The worst part about it really is I don’t have mp3s %( I can live without being online for a day as long as I have my computer, there are lots of things I should be doing to my system that I put off ’cause I’m lazy. Unfortunately for me all the tutorials I have are online so I can’t spend the day catching up on stuff I havent been doing while I spent my time looking for a house. Oh boy I’m rambling.

I guess I’ll start off the morning by writing some long due emails to some friends, I put them off so much that it becomes months between emails and I really shouldn’t let that happen. Laters.

So the better thing to do was surf the net and stumble upon funny things, like this for example:

*sneezes* ugh… stupid alleriges! I don’t really have anything exciting to write about… Myk redit the firewall this weekend and now I can’t dcc from local chat clients, heh… s’ok I dont dcc much from here anyway, my chat clients mostly are on the webserver…

Its sunday… as i pretty much expected we arent doing anything this weekend… i’m about 100 pages into Dune, read til about 3 am last night, Myk didnt come to bed til around 6, heh… Dune is a really good book %) I cant believe I never read it before… after this I am going to NEED to get some of the books following it. I definately need to get to a used bookstore, buying new books all the time is quite costly %) and I am SURE most of the books I am reading will be available used.

Anyway, I am sure there are better things I could be doing than writing here *wanders off*

I finished the 5th Wheel of Time book today… review:

The Fires Of Heaven, By Robert Jordan, 989 pages

This book still follows our cast as they get even more into their fight with the evil Forsaken.. we learn a lot more about these Forsaken in this book, their powers and limitations. Our Hero Rand, the Dragon rebord, also grows a lot in this book… the effects of being “partly” Lews Therin takes a toll most noticibly here. Mat also deals with past memories that are not his own, these memories recieved when he journeyed into Rhiuidean with Rand, and these are explored in a little more depth and we finally see their uses. The White Tower splits further and makes the mission of the young Accepteds Elayne and Nynaeve a bit more difficult. Perrin fans would be diasspointed to note that his story is not part of this book, besides casual references to his well-being by other characters. In all Jordan continues to do a good job keeping the reader’s interest and revealing secrets that give much more depth to each character.

I started reading Dune this afternoon ’cause I hadnt yet and it’s one of those scifi books that everyone just HAS to read…

I woke up pretty early this morning surprisingly, tried to sleep more until i finally got up around 10ish.. read the last 200 or so pages of the 5th WoT book, then had a bit of a sinus headache so I was lying down for a good bit of the afternoon.. which sucked. Sometimes I think I’d rather be sick in any other way other than a headache… at least with an upset stomach I can watch tv, or read, or even use the computer… with a headache I just need to take lots of medicine and wait it out by lying in bed, bleh, so boring…

I dunno if we’ll do anything this weekend… s’ok if we don’t I guess, it’s been nice out lately so I can get out to take walks, and I guess I can settle for that as “getting out of the house” Heh… the house hunt still goes on. We’re gonna call next week to see how much of a loan we can get approved for, fun fun! Then we can seriously get down to business with buying a house… we’re still really want a fireplace and loft, but it’s just so hard to find. At least with a loan approved we can find our house and be sure to get it … and hopefully be able to move before the lease is up here in december.

I did a little playing around with the mp3 collection yesterday… we moved them to another computer (since one of clockbot’s harddrives was dying, we got the mp3s off of it luckily). I moved all the mp3s from my computer (r2) their new home on Minute, I still need to go through them and fix the names of a few so they are all pretty, but I generated a new list for my site in the meantime… we counted them at like 1557 mp3s %D anyway the list is here:

http://www.princessleia.com/mp3s.txt


Now I’m gonna go waste some time chatting %D *wanders off*

Fisher – Miseryland

Wow, I’m listening to lots of chick music today o_O

I finally got Neocron to start downloading, decided to go to a download site other than stupid FilePlanet… maybe Fileplanet is better if you pay for their freaking yearly subscription, but somehow I doubt it %) I ended up going to some German site, I’m downloading at 108 k/sec %D Still it’s gonna take like 3 hours, lol… I’m already at 47 % tho %) Hopefully I’ll be able to find some time this afternoon to play a little… more important hopefully I will like it, lol

SO i guess I can stop bitching about Network Solutions so much… I found out today when i got an email from them that their site is all broekn ’cause they are redoing stuff, and it’ll work to my advantage. They are sending me a password in the REAL MAIL to the “new and improved” account manager, so I’ll be able to change my secondary dns FINALLY. It should be here in about 2 weeks. I also emailed Nikole (the former owner of princessleia.com..) to see if she refaxed the request to change the ownership COMPLETELY to me.. she did once but netsol and their wonderfulness lost it %) At least with this new password I’ll be able to make the changes I need… Since the secondary dns that is listed is from a provider that went out of business last month %)

My allergies are really bugging me today.. it’s funny I never had allergies since I spent the summer down here in ’99… I am not sure if it was there are different plants and stuff here that make me sneeze or just another one of those things that happens when you get older. Lots of things have happened to my health in the past couple years, like my asthma has almost completely gone away, only once every few months I wake up (usually when I have a cold or something) with my chest hurting…. and I have always had problems with dairy, but it’s only recently that I really became lactose intolerate where I do have stomach problems if I eat too much…. And then there is the whole “caffine doesnt affect me” thing, when I was in high school I could drink 3 cups of coffee before going to bed and not sleep any differently… now if I have pepsi with a 9 pm dinner I can’t fall asleep… Stupid dumb growing up… Speaking of growing up we got a cutting board last night when we were grocery shopping, just like real adults! LOL %)

So I found a picture of what my old desk looked like when I lived at home, I forgot what a horrible mess it was, so for your viewing pleasure I share:

In comparison, this is what my desk looks like now:



Yeah, same computer…

Anyway, I am gonna go see if I can get some work done today… since it’s already almost 1:30, heh… *wanders off again*

Dido – All You Want

I am writing this while waiting for my Neocron download to start at Fileplanet… Fileplanet sucked %) I left it on the waiting list (they have waiting lists to download files..) and it ended up crashing mozilla… so I come back to look at it and it’s all *gone* heh… So I am going to watch it this time! And it’s pretty funny how the time is calculated on it, like I have a 29 minute wait, but in the end it turns out to be something like an hour wait… I was joking in chat last night that their server was on Mars, thus going by Mars time (oh geez guys, I am talking about year time, I dont care about the physics of it all! It takes longer for Mars to go around the sun, longer years, longer minutes). I’m at 18 minutes now %)

Looks like I had some geekage in my comments yesterday… MAX_INT Hee… now I’ve never bothered to learn C++ (in fact it’s under my dislikes along with Visual Basic on deep13.org), and of course never tried any C, gah! But that’s funneh… heh… as for the second comment, maybe I just dont know C++ so I didnt *get* as much of the joke as i should have, heh… Anyway, good to see the only xangians arent 13 year old girls who have dating lives that are more confusing than my Perl scripts %)

I talked to my aunt Elaine on the phone yesterday, she’s the aunt I lived with for a few months here in philly, and again after I left my ex in Rochester, NY… she’s pretty much my favorite family member, hehe… anyway she called me to get help installing her printer… we were on the phone for about an hour yesterday, talking about things going on in our lives (she’s in college right now..) and trying to get the silly printer to work. In the end I gave her some suggestions and she IM’ed me later to tell me she got it working. The first problem was the printer wasn’t on %) That’s why she called me in the first place but in the end it turned out to be the printer cartriages were put in wrong, heh, something I wasnt able to tell over the phone… after all those installs every way I could think of, arg! Obviously over the phone printer tech support is not my forte %) It was good to talk to her tho, after moving out of her apartment in December we’ve tried to keep in close contact, but it’s just so hard when you live hours away %(

Woohoo only 9 minutes left!

I got a letter, like a real paper letter, even written by hand, from my father yesterday. If you arent up to speed, he’s currently in a rehab program for recovering alcoholics… it’s a live-in place, he’ll be there for 9-12 months. It’s really a terrible situation, he’s been an alcholic as long as i can remember, so this really is what he needed. The letter sorta had the feel of “part of the 12 step program” He took responsibility for so much of the crap that’s happened in my life, dispite it not being all his fault. It was quite sad actually how guilty he feels, but I guess guilt is necessary for recovery or something. It was pretty much a huge apology for not being there for me when I “needed him most” and him not supporting me even though I am “so smart” and should have gone off to college and made everyone proud.. he also too responsibility for me leaving before my parents got divorced. That made ME feel guilty. True, I didn’t want to be around when the family fell apart because I spent most of my time growing up playing peacemaker… but another big part of it was just that I didn’t want to face the reality of life and everything. I didn’t want to face responsibility, so I just kept running away… I still am. And sure, maybe if I had more support from my parents in school I would have been more sure of myself, maybe had been stronger and gone on to do the college thing, but I would have been a completely different person I think. I dunno… I will write him back though… even though I am not sure what to say, I’ll think about it and hope it doesnt take *too* long…

3 minutes, yay!

This Neocron is like a 1.1 gig file, lol. I was telling Myk about it last night (www.neocron.com so I dont need to explain it to you too), as well as confessing to him what a crazy gamer I am, LOL even after living with him since december he really had no idea what a crazy fiend I could be. I told him about how when the Diablo 2 expansion pack came out I was at the store at midnight to get it, lol… he was like “but it will be there after that, why go then?” Ugh… lol, and then of course he got me in that mood where I just wanted to talk about gaming, he was like “ah! you are talking about games again!” it was funny… I am such the uber geek for the both of us, lol, even if he is a little more geeky when it comes to geeky computer things…

OMG… Mozilla just crashed AGAIN!!!! 2 minutes to go on the download waitinglist!!! *Sigh* maybe I should just give up %( Or try netscape, this sucks!!! Oh well… I’ll do it somehow, or just give up %) *wanders off to be very upset*

Nine Inch Nails – Dead Souls

PLUG (phildelphia linux users group) was last night. we didnt go again, it ended up being really hot yesterday and Myk hasn’t been sleeping so great, and allergies have been bugging him, so by the end of the day he was pretty wiped out, didnt go grocery shopping like we should have either..

So last night Myk was looking at some houses, found a nice one, and we even made an appointment to see it… but looking over our finances we sorta realized that we can’t really afford it. It’s all quite depressing finding out what you can and cannot afford.. I dont know whether to call the agent and tell her to cancel the appointment or just go and then later admit that we could never afford it, heh… I guess I’ll call her later.

Then in an attempt to get away from the finding a house crap I decided to try to get together the stuff so I could change the secondary dns on princessleia.com. I guess I have to fax them a form with this crap on it telling them what to change since I dont know the crypt password, heh… Of course the netsol site is all fucked up and I cant get anywhere on it now… it’s really dumb and i hate it! Gah.. one stressful thing to another, I am having a bad day %( Not to mention I am tired, I woke up like 354435 times last night for no reason, it sucked.

Wow I complain a lot %) I think I am just going to go read… that’ll cheer me up, stupid day!

Stabbing Westward – Everything I Touch

Ended up with a pretty bad sinus headache yesterday afternoon… took tylenol, then excedrin… nothing helped, I rested in bed til Myk got home around 8 (he had a doctor’s appointment) and it still wasnt gone. Myk got us chinese last night too, and we never did get to the grocery store, he got me some Benedryl too, and that got rid of my headache finally. Of course they arent kidding when they said “may cause drowsiness” I crawled into bed around 10 to wait for my headache to go away, and before I knew it it was 2 am and Myk was in the room to turn off the light. I slept pretty well tho %) I think that is the first time I’ve gone to bed that early in years %) But I feel better today.. cept for this toothache that has been coming and going. I havent been to the dentist in like 3 years, I should make an appointment… I think my wisdom teeth are coming in… or I have a cavity… or both, I dont know what either feels like ’cause i’ve never had wisdom teeth, or a cavity before ;)

I talked to my mom last night… yeah in bed trying to get rid of a headache and she calls! Hehe… I guess my sister cant keep Merlynn and Dweezle %( So my mother is going down today to get them… that means Myk and I need to drive up to Maine sometime in the next couple of months to get them.. another reason getting a house SOON would be nice %) They will have to stay at Myk’s mother’s house until we can find a place..

Speaking of finding a house.. things still suck with that %( I found this awsome house… it was an old schoolhouse, 102 years old but in good condition… huge fireplace, nice lot, good area, called on it “oh sorry we closed on that thursday.. but it was a beautiful house *insert long description of how perfect it was here*” I was like “um, ok, stfu it’s gone!!!” .. Anyway that sucked, I will call back on another house that I think is gone, but I need to be sure…

^^ sooo pretty
1.5 acres of land! Gah… I am gonna go call on this house and then get some more work done, maybe do a little more house-hunting… *wanders off*

Barenaked Ladies – Break Your Heart

So I played with .vimrc this morning… I was frustrated ’cause it was set to “wrap” at 72 columns, which meant it put an -enter- at the end of 72 lines… so when I pasted from vim to xanga it would take the -enter- as a br … and make my xanga entries only 72 columns wide, which looked weird when I decided to write in vim from time to time %) Anyway, it’s all fixed… I found the vimrc and realized it was set to 72, bleh… had to unset it and things are all better noew.

The lan party on sunday was fun %) Played the Battlefield 1942 demo (full version isnt released yet, but it’s a kewl game) most of the time…
played a little UT, and a friend of mine has a copy of Warcraft 3, so we played a game of that. Toward the end of the night I started getting all sniffly, and got a bit of an allergy headache %( stupid summer allergies… and they have dogs, so I am sure it was a mix of the two, I took some Benedryl and then was pretty much zoned out for the rest of the night, hehe. They had rice crispy treats there too, lol, I hadnt had those in ages, prolly put on 2 pounds from those alone ;) It’s nice getting out and seeing people every once in a while… and three day weekends are the best time to do it… woulda sucked to have the lan party sunday night, getting home at like 1:30 am o_O

Yesterday we just stayed home… I slept til about 1 pm… which is uncommon for me ’cause I tend to try to get up before noon even on weekends so I can keep in a semi-normal sleeping schedule and my insomnia stays away! I read a bunch yesterday… a little over halfway through the 5th Wheel of Time book… still good %) I decided to order books BEFORE I finished my book this time, so I have something to read when I’m done… Went to bn.com last week and ordered Another Fine Myth/Myth Conceptions a book (two in one actually) that starts this Myth’s series that GryphonBlue recommended. And I ordered Equal Rites the next (3rd) Discworld book I need to read.. and then of course Lord of Chaos the 6th Wheel Of Time book.. wow… all these books are part of a series O_o and i just realized I wanted to order one that wasnt, lol doh! Oh well…next time %)

So I had another weird dream with people from high school in it, again, very unimportant people who I never really thought twice about… very
strange, what’s even stranger is they are actual dreams, and not nightmares like most high school dreams are *shrugs* I don’t remember much other than that it took place on the trail that goes around the apartment complex… strange.

Look, I took another quiz, funny thing is I have never watched Buffy… have no intention of EVER doingso, and the last 2 questions I just randomly clicked ’cause of this:


Which Buffy Girl Are You? Find out @ She’s Crafty

Right, sounds accurate, but again, never seen the show…

I just went to go make myself some lunch… again it amazed me that we have like no food in our place. We havent gone shopping in a little over 2 weeks, besides running to get milk and bread, so now our menu is down to tunafish, pickles and peanut butter, i’m just finishing up the last of the bread now. I hate grocery shopping SO much. I think my parent’s method to having lots of food was to have canned food n stuff in the pantry, and stuff we didnt like to eat much… so it always looked like we had food… and they had a pretty regular shopping pattern so they’d shop even when we were not completely out of food. I remember wondering why people would be so panicked to get food if there was a storm or something, ’cause everyone has a pantry full of food right? Ha! I don’t now! I’d be in line with the rest of ’em.. I guess we should go grocery shopping tonight so i dont end up with a pickle/peanut butter/tuna casserole for lunch tomorrow %D So nasty…

The house hunt is still going crappy %( I called back on that so perfect place in Honey Brook to make sure it really was sold (last person I spoke to thought so but wasnt sure) and of course they havent called me back yet… even though I asked to be notified either way. Oh well, it was pretty far away anyway, a 1 1/2 hour commute for Myk would be a lot… plus when/if I get a car and a job it would be rough for me too, especially since I doubt I’d be getting a new car %D

Anyway, I am gonna try to get some stuff done today… maybe look for houses summore *wanders off*

Havent been listening to music the past few days while writing my logs.. *shrugs*

We’re going to a lan party this afternoon… it’s been raining all night *watches her computer cringe* but that’s better than having it 100 degrees out and dragging our computers and all our stuff through that… at least with rain we can grab a towel and toss it over the computer and be done with it… heat means sweaty and uncomfortable and crankie %)

Ever have a dream that has someone seemingly unimportant from your past that you havent seen in over 3 years? In a dream last night (which is strange, I dont usually remember dreams… only nightmares) there was this guy I knew from high school in it. I remember he was nice to me, while most people in high school preferred to look through me (which wasnt a problem..). I cant quite remember what he did that was nice for me once, but I know he did ’cause I remember almost feeling like he was a friend *shrugs*… anyway I havent thought of this guy in ages, and I was never attracted to him, nothing like that… but he was in my dream last night… along with some girls I knew in high school Megan Johnson and Marion Tizon (that isnt her last name anymore is it? Hee) who i doubt even spoke to this guy ever… it was all quite strange o_O I cant think of anything that would make me dream of any of them… cept maybe that conversation on friday that someone mentioned the Galapagos Islands and I remember megan went there recently… *shrugs* Dreams are weirdy.

I went out again last night with Myk’s Jeep.. he wasnt feeling so great ’cause his allergies are really acting up and he took some Benedryl that made him feel all strange… so I took back the videos that were due by noon today (and hell if i’m gonna go out before noon on a weekend!).. went to the grocery store too to get a chocolate oreo brownie thing ’cause I had a crazy craving for chocolate, prolly ’cause I dont eat it much anymore and I WAS feeling a bit down….

I talked to Myk about how lousy I felt after Ian and Jess left on friday, he told me not to let people like that get me down, and they were just still high off the “just graduated college and havent yet been smacked around by the real world” thing… while I have real world experience and consiquently a full grasp on my knowledge (like how I still cant spell %P!). In the end Myk is right, and I felt better…

So yesterday a friend of mine (no names!) who is a computer science major specializing in webdesig asked me how to do a simple thing in html… I didn’t flinch when I told them, just said what it was… then realized that they were a CS major and all and it sorta blew me away.. I know other CS majors too, and it seems either they dont care about their major enough to spend spare time working on it (I know I would! I do!)… and/or the schools really fucking suck… It’s just strange that even when I went to an RIT keg party I got into a perfectly equal conversation with a 3rd year CS major about context of different programming languages and after we stopped talking he was like “So what year are you? I havent seen you around campus before…” It really makes me think if i went to college for a CS degree it would be a waste of money, cant I just take a cheap test to prove I know what I’m doing? Gah…

Anyway I have some stuff to do before packing up ole’ r2 for the lan party, so I should do that… *wanders off*